Sleeping With ASMR

I would think that on the days I come in from work so tired I’m amazed I made the journey that the night time would be punctuated only by snores. In practice the experience is a lot more staccato than that. Sometimes the effect is exactly as expected and I hit the pillow with eyes closed and rend the night time with loud snorts and squeakings. Not unusually though I can lie there reading into the early hours or just lie there…

For this reason, I started some years ago now looking into restful material to act as a distraction and discovered that I rather liked ASMR videos. I’m still reviewing them all this time later. Sometimes I spend my time listening to the Procrastination Pen playlist, sometimes to other material. But I reason that if I review ASMR material each week then at least the ASMR fans get some feedback. If I compile a playlist then at least the insomniacs have some distracting material. At least if I write something then the disgruntled have something to criticise which might even make them feel better. (I’m not adverse to a bit of criticising myself).

I did say I’d be on the lookout for material that was not on YouTube and that was advert free. In 2026 that is quite a big ask. It would seem that most people have worked out how to monetise and are squeezing that lemon till the pips gasp their last.

Occasionally I find people of a religious affiliation who produce material due to some spiritual conviction. I recognise though that some readers are not keen to hear from a Christian, Muslim or Buddhist.

Some people produce material on the assumption that if people listen to the free stuff, then they might pay handsomely for the other stuff they produce which is not free.

Some people seem morally disposed to share their message with others and are not hounding a pay cheque. I am grateful for all such people (and no doubt others who have reasons I have not listed here).

I have been listening off and on to a podcast over some months now which is produced in order to spread a message of happiness and not just that but backs it up with scientific findings. It is not hugely ASMRy but you might like the material as a different distraction (to the Procrastination Pen) playlist. It is “The Happiness Lab Podcast” with Dr. Laurie Santos. It often has some very surprising findings for example a recent episode that tells us winning the lottery is likely to be very bad for you: https://www.drlauriesantos.com/happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos-podcast/episodes/winning-lottery-ruin-life.

Having finished my non-YouTube material, let’s look at this week’s Calm material.

https://www.calm.com/app/player/wicRCqVcjB

Daily Jay

Gossip

NARRATOR

Jay Shetty

I am reviewing whether I will continue with Calm, there are so many alternative offerings out there. It’s not likely to be an immediate change. However, do not be surprised if the Calm recommendations ultimately dry up.

I did find today that it is possible to share free links to Calm but the terms and conditions do seem to indicate it is designed for a Calm subscriber (me) to share with the odd friend. Not for them to take a free link and post it on their blog for everyone to use. It sounds like if I did that it might quickly invalidate my subscription. So, I am not going to try it.

This week for the professional ASMR artist I thought that I would try the medical offering from the channel that I reviewed only recently. You might remember that I tried Italian ASMR because I am trying, and failing, to learn Italian. I found that the video was not in Italian. So I failed to stick to the blog theme and failed in the purpose of the diversion.

The same artist I notice has this one:

ASMR Italian Nurse Checks On You 🇮🇹🩺 Medical Roleplay & Personal Attention

It is a bit of a fudge in that I have been trying to review videos which are older as these seem to fall out of favour on YouTube. Most people, seemingly wanting a proper bang with their bang up to date. This one, however, is very, very recent so I am, yet again, diverting from the target.

The channel of course is AppleWhispers ASMR, this has 5.33k subscribers from only eight videos which seems to me properly exceptional. This ASMR artist must have something to be getting that kind of loyalty already.

We’ve previously detailed the notes on the channel so I wont rehash things, however, as expected, there are notes associated with the video itself:

“42,323 views 28 Aug 2026 #asmr #sleep #relax

Your Italian nurse is here to check on you and make sure you’re doing okay. 🇮🇹🩺🤍

In today’s relaxing ASMR medical roleplay, I’ll gently check your condition, take your vital signs and give you plenty of close-up personal attention while you rest.

Just get comfortable and let me take care of you for a little while.

You’ll experience gentle medical checks, soft whispers, close-up attention, soothing hand movements and relaxing examination sounds, all designed to help you switch off, feel cared for and hopefully fall asleep. 🌙

Triggers include:

🩺 Medical examination

❤️ Vital signs check

👀 Close-up visual examination

🤍 Personal attention

👐 Gentle hand movements

💤 Whispering & relaxing medical sounds

I hope your Italian nurse can make you feel a little more relaxed tonight.

Now just rest… I’ll take care of everything. 🤍

—————————

🍎 Welcome to AppleWhispers ASMR!

Hi, I’m Elena! 🤍

I’m so happy you’re here.

My goal is to help you relax, unwind and fall asleep through gentle whispers, personal attention and immersive ASMR roleplays.

If you enjoy my videos, don’t forget to like, subscribe and turn on notifications so you won’t miss future uploads!

🌙 Sweet dreams!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🇮🇹 Looking for ASMR in Italian?

Visit my Italian channel:

   / @appletinglesasmr 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

💌 Business Inquiries

appletingles95@gmail.com

🎥 Personalized ASMR Videos

If you’d like to request a custom ASMR video, feel free to contact me via email.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

❤️ Support the Channel

If you’d like to support my work, you can leave a donation here:

https://www.paypal.me/AppleTingles

Every contribution helps me create more relaxing content for you. Thank you so much! 🤍

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📱 Follow me

Italian ASMR :    / @appletinglesasmr 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🎧 For relaxation purposes only.

Please do not listen while driving or operating machinery.

#asmr #relax #sleep”

These are the normal (for a professional ASMR artist) level of ludicrously long. For a start who comes to YouTube to read the video notes. The majority of professional ASMR artists seem to double as ghost writers for a re-write of war and peace. Mostly I set about the notes with a hatchet in my blog or it would all get rather tiresome. (Perhaps it does anyway).

There are comments. Comments seem to be allowed by all the professional ASMR artists and, mostly, they seem to be describing how close to a deity the listeners feel the ASMR artist is. So here. Not the usual level of thousands of comments. However, a brief spin through those that there are indicates that AppleWhispersASMR is up there with JC and he who could move mountains.

The video is very slightly under twenty-seven minutes long and so an appreciable enough length in comparison to some that I have reviewed. It starts without music and we get the immediate impression that breathy is going to feature. The accent is enchanting and the level of the voice more or less perfect. This is not a whispered presentation. The enunciation reminds me of the French video I reviewed a little while ago. The clicks and clucks that professional ASMR artists produce (presumably because they act as a “trigger” for someone) here seem to occur naturally as a result of the way the words are pronounced. For those who like the odd mouth click this must be a very satisfying experience. For me I am about the voice, the normal spoken voice, and this is a great one. It is calm and well-paced. It is not loud and there are various pauses rather than the gabbling-on that some presenters seem to focus on.

There is the odd clothing related noise due to the artist being in motion quite a lot during the video. I did not find it distracting, but if you are using this for sleep there is absolutely no need to be watching it. The sound is good enough I find.

There are sounds which purport to be bed linens being moved (not excessively loud). There is the odd clunk (apparently of equipment being moved). In a similar way there is the odd click, rattling sound, fizzing sound, associated liquid noises, the occasional phrase in Italian thrown in for good measure. (I think I really need to review some of this artist’s Italian Language output – note to self). There are glove-related noises (not my favourite). There are sounds like hands being moved over a surface (these are off camera so who knows).

There is some whispered content (the normal refuge for a professional ASMR artist). There are sounds of gloved fingers being run through hair (I believe some people watch entire videos of that kind of thing but it happens only briefly here).  There are noises like items being removed from a large paper bag (not incredibly loud, but loud enough).

There’s the odd tap from a reflex hammer being employed (quite quiet).

I did find myself nodding to it at intervals so I would imagine that a lot of listeners would find it an effective sleep aid.

Because I was recently reviewing some wood carving videos, of course I receive recommendations of more wood carving videos from the same artist. I am not given to review wood carving videos. I rather think I am supposed to be reviewing medical-themed videos. However, I noticed a playlist. I rather liked what I saw. So this week I am going to segue into wood carving (again) purely because I enjoyed the content I found on this channel previously.

The playlist is this one:

However, I am going to start with the first video rather than do the whole thing. We can come back on a future occasion and take a look at another one.

There are seventeen videos in this playlist and none of them seem to be particularly long, save the ultimate one. So, this will not take long. The playlist is “The Great Wave (making the woodblock print)” and the first video is:

The Great Wave – Part 1

Logically enough I suppose.

The channel, of course is David Bull, I detailed a great deal about this channel in a previous post so I will not go mad this time. Suffice to say that it has 192k subscribers, one hundred and forty-seven videos, seven playlists – not a one is on a medical theme (it may surprise you to understand).

If the quality is like that in my previous review, I can quite imagine that I will be back to review every single video here (if I am spared). The updates seemed to have slowed a little with the last video (to the channel) being posted eight months ago. I can review a lot faster than that, but then I am not slaving over something that takes quite so long to prepare.

The notes associated with the video are: “189,087 views 5 Jan 2015

This set of videos will document the production of the new reproduction of Hokusai’s ‘The Great Wave’ being made by Dave Bull and his Mokuhankan woodblock print workshop in Tokyo, in early 2015.

The print is being made as a ‘reward’ for backers of the Kickstarter project run in the autumn of 2014 by Mokuhankan to gather support for their new shop in Asakusa, Tokyo.

The print will be carved by Dave, proofed by him once the blocks are ready, and then produced by his printing staff.”

How marvellous to have notes that are not the equivalent length of one of my blog articles…

The video is just slightly over nine minutes and so is not going to waylay you for long. I like short videos. I do not like that between every video, YouTube inserts an inane advert of no relevance whatsoever to the quiet unobtrusive material that I was just watching.

I’m not certain if you have ever clicked on one of these things. I can remember I mistakenly clicked on an advert – it was for a revolutionary cooling system just at the time that it was thirty-two degrees outside. I was taken to a website but (fortunately for me) did not order anything. I found out a month later the whole thing was an utter scam and the product was incapable of doing what it purported to do. I am even more lairy of adverts today than I was before then.

Back to the video itself. It starts without music. There is a background hiss, it does not sound like air conditioning. It was a little loud when compared to the professional ASMR video I reviewed just before it. So I thumbed the volume down a little. Once at that level the hiss was muted and the voice sounded much better. The subject (to me) was interesting. The pace was slow; the voice seems calm. However, the video goes outside and it is really very loud. Lots of background voice noises (people chatting). It is not the quietest. At one stage you can hear a child screaming. It’s a shame, the video was well worth reviewing up to this stage.

Just one, video this time.

That’s it on this occasion, more next time.

See you again next week.

The David Bull playlist on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:

I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.

The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:

I can’t be bothered to stop my listening to log on, this interrupts the experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.

I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.

If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.

Until next time.

Photo by Deep.ai

Sleeping With ASMR

This week some progress on the wearing of the hearing aid. I am resting my ear at intervals and so I wear the hearing aid perhaps three days per week. This lessens the pain in the ear canal but does not stop the itching from wearing it. That’s all distracting detail though. The main thing for our purposes is that despite the slightly metallic sound I get when wearing it the effects on my appreciation of ASMR seem to be non-existent. Perhaps the old brain is able to adapt to the sound changes but whatever it is, I now feel that I shall be able to go on reviewing ASMR material with no appreciable effects on my facility to like or dislike them.

Of late I have not been listening to ASMR material because I have had a segue onto material that I occasionally listen to instead. Historically I was listening to audiobook material on YouTube – I listened to Terry Pratchett, some science fiction and a great deal of Agatha Christie. However, quite by chance recently, I came across Paul Temple, a character who probably means very little to the majority of people under 70. The peak Paul Temple period seems to have been between 1954 and 1968 on the radio. Initially I came across some YouTube material, for example:

However, it turns out that YouTube is not the only source, for example:

https://www.radio-uk.co.uk/podcasts/the-adventures-of-paul-temple-old-time-radio

Definitely not ASMR but possibly a good night-time distraction nonetheless.

The Calm offering today is this one:

https://www.calm.com/app/player/wicRCqVcjB

Daily Jay

Gossip

NARRATOR

Jay Shetty

I rather like Jay; I listen to him fairly frequently. I haven’t been able to build the meditation into a daily discipline yet however, even though this is a pay for service. (I do try to get my money’s worth out of pay-for services).

Today’s professional ASMR offering features two participants. I don’t get to feature such videos that often (I think they are comparatively rare).

ASMR Home Doctor Physical Exam with My Sister Alisa, Bilingual Medical RP

The comments lead me to believe that the whole sister thing is a complete red herring and there is one person playing two separate roles. That must have taken some clever video editing. I am in admiration of the sheer time people are prepared to dedicate to their videos.

The channel is Lizi ASMR, I am pretty sure I have not been to that channel before. So, a surprise for us all then. The channel has 780k subscribers, nine hundred and sixty-three videos, eighteen playlists so it is extremely popular. That does not tell me much; I have written a number of disappointed reviews of artists who have innumerate fans of feverish dedication.

The channel has notes:

“Lizi ASMR

Description

Hi there, and welcome to my channel! 🌟

I’m Lizi, and I’m so happy you’re here! I create ASMR videos to help you relax, de-stress, and enjoy those wonderful tingles.

If you love soft whispers, fun soft-spoken role-plays, and binaural sounds that feel right in your ears, you’ll feel right at home here. 🎧 Don’t forget your headphones—they make all the difference!

I post new videos every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday, so there’s always something new to help you unwind. If you like what you see, hit Subscribe and tap the 🔔 so you never miss a video. I’d love for you to join our little ASMR community—a cozy and welcoming space!

Thanks so much for stopping by. Let’s relax and hang out together! 💖”

So, this seems to be an artist who focuses on the whispery approach (which is by far the most common approach for ASMR artists).

Today’s video also has notes:

“563,288 views  15 Oct 2021  #LiziASMR #ASMR #ASMRPhysicalExam

Shop Kenzzi here: https://kenzzi.com/products/kenzzi-ip…

Use code Lizi50 for 50$ off

Hello everyone!  I wanted to do another ASMR video with Alisa, it’s a Physical exam with Alisa being extremely naughty.  I know you guys like 360 sounds so I filmed this video in such a way that the second person off-screen will be moving around the room touching stuff, taking notes and etc. Alisa will give you an eye exam in the middle for a change. There are many unintentional sounds and some language triggers in addition to medical ones.  I hope you enjoy it💖

If you enjoy Bilingual RP videos, check my playlist

~   • ASMR Relaxing Medical Examination by Russi… 

TimeStamps

00:00 Kenzzi Promo

02:10 Physical Exam

14:17 Alisa Eye Exam

19:42 Physical Exam cont

My Upload Schedule: Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday

**USE HEADPHONES FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE**

For more ASMR videos: https://www.youtube.com/c/LiziASMR?su…”

Which, not unexpectedly, are of a reasonable length.

The video is a little over twenty-nine minutes and so of a respectable length in terms of videos that have been reviewed recently.

It starts with my least favourite thing in a YouTube video which is a product endorsement. So, on that basis, I reject this one and let’s move on.

Let’s try this one instead:

ASMR A ~*Completely Normal*~ Medical Exam

 A rather unusual ASMR title, let’s hope that it bodes well.

it comes from the channel: Amy Kay ASMR this has 553k subscribers, five hundred and seventy three videos, thirteen playlists none of those are obviously medically themed.

The notes on the channel are:

“Amy Kay ASMR

Description

Brands & Sponsors: amykayasmr@runbyinfluencers.com

Other business matters (I don’t do customs): mkayamy@gmail.com

Instagram: AmyKayASMR (for random selfies and irl Amy Kay stuff)

Twitter: AmyKayASMR (for my unfiltered thoughts)

TikTok: @AmyKayASMR & @AmyKayASMRFast (this is just me goofing off)

Become a Patron to help fund all my props and costumes! 🙂

https://www.patreon.com/amykayasmr

Thank you to all my Patrons!

For those who want to support me but would rather not use Patreon, Throne is like an amazon wishlist but safer 🙂: https://throne.me/u/amykayasmr“

Which also incorporate a fair amount of promotion so crossed fingers it isn’t just a glorified advert.

The notes on the video are:

“153,923 views 5 Oct 2020

Wait a second, does she even know what she’s doing???

Thank you to CrinkleLuvin ASMR for agreeing to cameo in my video!! 🙂

Go say hi to her channel here:

   / channel 

Twitter: @AmyKayASMR

Instagram: AmyKayASMR

TikTok: AmyKayASMR

For Patreon:

linktr.ee/amykayasmr

Become a Patron to help fund all my props and costumes! :)”

Comments are permitted and there are a lot of them. Most of them seem a tad off-the-wall which usually isn’t a good sign.

The video is a little over twenty three and a half minutes which is a reasonable length. The video does not start off at the whispery end of presentation so that is something of a result. In fact, I like the tone. There is no background noise but there is a slight border around the individual presenting so I suspect that this was filmed with the modern equivalent of a green screen i.e. that the backdrop does not exist. (I’m guessing you will not be spending a great deal of time watching in any case if you are using this to get some snooze time.

The presentation feels a bit stumbling at intervals which I think is because the video is aimed at demonstrating that the individual is a tad inept. Now the comments begin to make sense.

There are paper noises, sometimes these are a tad loud. There are tapping noises, fingers brushing over a surface, gloves-related noises (not my favourite). There are rustling noises coming from activity off camera (again, a fairly typical technique).

The gloves-related noises make up rather too much of this video for it to be a good one for my purposes and I was rather glad when they stopped.

The humorous presentation was fun but I was not certain that it added much ASMR-wise which is really my purpose in reviewing these things in the first place.

There are keyboard noises (rather loud and sounding completely random as if no typing was actually taking place (which I suspect that it wasn’t)). There are clicking noises, clunking noises, pencil scribbling noises, nail tapping noises (against all kinds of surfaces including a metal can). There are adhesive noises (a bacon-coloured sticking plaster for some reason).

So it wasn’t my favourite, but it was fun in a humorous kind of fashion, so why not listen for yourself.

This week I am breaking one of my rules simply because I cannot find the original source (If anyone reading can find the video this is from an can fill me in I will review that original video.

So, I have a video that someone has doctored but which seems taken from a genuine medical video. It is this one:

ASMR Loop: Physical Examination – Unintentional ASMR – 1 Hour

It is on a channel dedicated to ASMR so someone has edited this video, and also has looped it to create a video one hour long. I really dislike loop videos so I went in search of the original but did not find it. Instead I found the shorter version of this video put up by another ASMR-dedicated channel, which is this one:

*Real Person* Medical Examination | Best Unintentional ASMR

it is from Touro University Nevada who have a channel dedicated to university promotion (as you would expect) https://www.youtube.com/@TouroNevada there are one hundred and sixty six videos on here but I cannot see the one this footage is extracted from (I get the feeling that universities take down their older videos and then they become preserved only in the hands of ASMR fans).

I think the posting by ASMR fans is somewhat precarious. I have reviewed very good videos hosted on ASMR sites in the past all of which disappeared, sometimes taking the ASMR channel with them. I think some organisations are not keen on their videos being used in this way.

My advice: listen while you may.

There are comments. Some are trying to prove how much they know about ASMR, some trying to prove how clever they are altogether and some seem to be a tad strange. That sounds like YouTube video comments in microcosm.

The video is a little less than fourteen and a quarter minutes and it starts very loud indeed. The person’s voice can even be heard to echo in the room. There are loud rustling noises from the “drape” which I assume was made of some kind of paper. The medical professional’s voice calms down a lot when the examination starts and then just as it did, a loud and energetic advert kicked in.

There are clunking noises from the equipment used, some loud thunks, clicking noises, some rustling noises, noises from the medical professional being (almost constantly) in motion.

The presentation is calm and measured though and that is restful. Just like that though another loud and energetic advert, and the video is not even five minutes in yet.

There are deep breathing noises, clothing related noises and then yet another loud and energetic advert still not even eight minutes into the video. There are palpation noises, metallic noises from the table used to support the patient, noises from chair wheels rotating on a hard floor. Then another loud and energetic advert just over twelve minutes into the video. It ends without music (and thankfully without a further advert). However, this illustrates the issue I have written about for months now. Reasonable, but not excellent, video ruined by loud non-ASMR adverts (and so many of them). I have a suspicion that the vast increase in number of adverts is the result of channel owners trying to maximise their revenue. It spoils the listening experience.

So, I think the video makes for interesting listening (I can’t find the original to review so this is probably the best that you’re going to get.

Sadly, though I can’t recommend it for sleep as roughly every three minutes you will get an energetic advert.

Just one, video this time.

That’s it on this occasion, more next time.

See you again next week.

The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:

I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.

The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:

I can’t be bothered to stop my listening to log on, this interrupts the experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.

I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.

If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.

Until next time.

Photo by Deep.ai

Sleeping With ASMR

Today I was dragging in a second-hand sliding patio door unit with a man some tiny fraction of my age. He seemed unfazed by the whole operation whereas I was reflecting, would I even be able to move it?

One of the consistent pieces of feedback I read about sleep is that the greater amount of exercise you can slot into your life, the much better will be the quality of that life and of the sleep that you manage to get.

I have the feeling that there are some bronzed performers who started life as the athletes picked in school and went on to win athletic medals at university and although they have (no doubt startling) careers, still find time to pound the track, lift incredible weights and consume vast quantities of protein shake.

I am not of that ilk. I never found it necessary until this moment, in fact, to do much that was more proactive than to dig the garden or walk in the countryside. However, I feel that a change is going to be needed and if I can find the wherewithal to make a go of it, I will document the relevant effects on sleep and if the claims made for exercise live up to the reality.

Meantime, I am going to resume examining ASMR. I am feeling a little more positive of late as I seem to have unearthed (and reviewed) some very good videos recently. However, some of that has been at the consequence of going a little off-piste in terms of subject matter. Let us see what this week brings.

The Calm track this week is this one:

https://www.calm.com/app/player/f8udqt_eR8

Daily Trip

Oh, That’s What’s Happening!

NARRATOR

Jeff Warren

AUTHOR

Jeff Warren

Regular readers will no doubt already be aware that you cannot get to Calm content without first subscribing. No doubt this is the reason that they can get voices at the quality that they do. It is regrettable, but if you do not have a subscription, you will not be able to listen to this. So, moving swiftly on.

This week’s professional ASMR offering I only looked at because of the claims made in the title:

[ASMR] Medically Accurate Cranial Nerve Exam 🩺🔎 (whispering, glove sounds, personal attention, …)

Given the wide variety of cranial nerve exams that I have watched (and listened to) that is a somewhat bold claim. It comes to us from the channel

Lotta’s ASMR 32.1k subscribers, three hundred and ninety three videos, fifteen playlists of which this one is on theme for this blog:

There are notes which are charmingly brief for a professional ASMR artist:

“Lotta’s ASMR

Description

Hi there and welcome! My name is Lotta and I create ASMR videos for your relaxation! I hope you have a great day (or night)! I post new videos every Sunday 🙂

Links  goodreadsgoodreads.com/user/show/163221862?ref=nav_profile_l

 instagraminstagram.com/lottasmind”

The video itself has notes: “2,054,033 views 25 Jun 2023 #cranialnerveexam #personalattention #asmr

Hi everyone!

Do you want to learn more about what a REAL cranial nerve exam looks like?

As you might know, I am actually a med student. Well, lately we spoke about the cranial nerves and how to test each one of them. Funnily enough, the real ways in which a neurologist would check your cranial nerves is very similar to how ASMRtists often do it.

I know many ASMRtists probably take inspiration from the “real way to do it” but I didn’t expect it to be so SPOT ON.

Anyway, if you’d like to have a medically accurate cranial nerve exam plus some information on what the nerves actually are and do, you’ve come to the right video. This video would also be perfect if you’re an ASMRtist looking to create a cranial nerve exam role-play.

Triggers included are: whispering, personal attention (face touching, …), tapping, glove sounds, some tracing, …

I hope you like it, have a good night!

Enjoy! ❤️

What even is ASMR?

ASMR describes a feeling of pleasant goosebumps (this is also called tingles). You may it know from when someone scratched your scalp or your back. ASMR videos trigger this feeling using various different sounds and visuals.

ASMR can help people fall asleep. It also calms anxiety and can be used for both relaxation and focusing on a task.

#asmr #roleplay #cranialnerveexam #whispering #personalattention #doctorroleplay”

Which, sadly, are anything but brief. In fact I have doctored them a little as the length was way too excessive even for blog articles like this one.

Comments are allowed and there are a phenomenal number. Some of them are calling out the claim in the title. Unsurprisingly, I am not the first to be intrigued by that.

The video is a little less than thirty minutes. Not a bad length in terms of those we have listened to of late. I am a little concerned it lists glove-related noises as triggers, as this is most definitely not my preferred thing. However, let us venture forth and see what we may find.

The video starts with that finger flicking motion that a number of ASMR professionals do and which I’m pretty sure medical professionals do not. It is not my thing but at least the video did not start with music. I am also interested that the presentation starts out whispery. Not that I have anything against a whisper, I am just pretty nigh convinced that a medical professional does not whisper at you during an examination.

The tone is good; the pace is good. It has the odd breathy moment and of course, that finger flicking. Lotta reveals that she is currently still a medical student rather than a fully-fledged doctor so perhaps for that we should grant some latitude around cranial nerve exam claims.

There are nail clicking noises, glove related noises (oh dear), that mouth clicking/clucking noise that ASMR professionals tend to excel at. There are paper stroking noises and noises from manipulation of cardboard. There is a background noise at one point of someone having a conversation outside the room. Fortunately that is quite brief.

As ASMR, I think it stacks up well. I’m not quite so convinced about accuracy. However, for our purposes I would say that this is well worth reviewing yourself.

Those loyal people who keep reading this blog will, at this point no doubt be feeling a tad cheated as I do try to find a resource that is not on YouTube and that does (at least to some extent) deny the constant thirst for advertising revenue that seems to be everywhere on the Internet. This week I came across this in one of my emails:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/happiness_break_a_practice_in_moving_through_stress

Happiness Break: A Practice in Moving Through Stress

It will nag you to sign up for a newsletter but not painfully. There is no obvious download link but I found I could listen freely without signing up. Jonathan Relucio is the artist and he has a calm voice and I think this is well worth a listen.

The inadvertent video this week is this one:

Calculus explained through a story

It comes from a time when I was trying to explore videos outside of the medical theme that I have been following for greater than three years now and hence this one is not on theme for this blog. Dependent upon your perspective this is either a welcome distraction or a bloomin’ nuisance. Normal service will be resumed soonish.

It comes from the channel Tibees with 1.34m subscribers, three hundred and eighty seven videos, eighteen playlists with literally none of those on theme for this blog. This is going to mean that unless today’s video is marvellous, I am unlikely to pay a return visit.

There is the usual large number of notes on the channel:

“Tibees

Description

Hi, I’m Toby, on my channel you can expect to see videos about physics, math, astronomy and the history of science.

If you like my channel then please help me out by sharing one of my videos with a friend. You can also support me through Patreon or Ko-fi (links below). I really appreciate it 🙂

Please visit my website for FAQs and contact information https://tobyhendy.com/

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a |mathematical| day :)” Which, again. I have edited down a tad.

And a comparatively brief number of notes with the video itself:

“767,249 views 6 Oct 2018 #JoyOfMathematics

Here is a look at the essence of calculus through the story of Bob. We use differentiation to find the slope of a curved line and then use ‘integration’ to find the area of an irregular shape.

Special thanks to the owl and birds in my garden for making so much noise during filming. ” also reduced in size a little.

There are literally thousands of comments with the video and most of them are a tad surreal, or definitely odd. To be honest that does not bode well with ASMR fans generally offering up their firstborn to a preferred ASMR artist in my experience.

The video is a little less than fifteen minutes in length so this is not going to keep us that long.

It starts with music, regrettably and some outside noises as if this was filmed in a parkland or similar. When Toby starts speaking, thankfully, that music stops altogether (the wildlife noises persist however) and we find that Toby has a great voice. Toby appears to be female and that Toby is not whispering. By turns, gratifying, interesting, and gratifying again.

I would have preferred it without the wildlife but I would say that Toby has a good voice for our purposes and it is almost certain I will be back to the site again. Why not take a listen for yourself.

So just one video this week.

I wish you well in your drive to get more sleep.

That’s it on this occasion, more next time.

See you again next week.

The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:

I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.

The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:

I can’t be bothered to stop my listening to log on, this interrupts the experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.

I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.

If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.

Until next time.

Photo by Deep.ai

Sleeping With ASMR

Of late I am becoming as good at procrastination as the title of the blog would lead you to suspect. I am not writing and yet, perversely, when I am writing I don’t find the process that unpleasant. So it is rather odd that I am choosing to avoid writing in this fashion.

However, apart from getting you a blog article this has nothing to do with ASMR (well as far as I am aware anyway).

Of late I have been falling asleep to Paul Temple who is a character that I came across quite by accident. There is a whole set of Paul Temple playlists on YouTube like this one:

and this follows on rather nicely I think from the Agatha Christie material that I used to dose off to:

There are even more of those, for example:

and in fact, as part of my material that is not on YouTube, I can choose one of those that is in the Internet Archive such as:

https://archive.org/details/ATTWN_AC_DS

https://archive.org/download/ATTWN_AC_DS/01%20-%20And%20Then%20There%20Were%20None.mp3

https://archive.org/download/ATTWN_AC_DS/02%20-%20Ten%20Little%20Soldier%20Boys.mp3

A bit of a cheat in that it has nothing to do with ASMR but as a mechanism of falling off to sleep, I do find that the occasional audiobook is a great way to ring the changes from ASMR every once in a while.

This week’s Calm offering is this one:

https://www.calm.com/app/player/D1jDKA6-QE

Daily Calm

The Place

NARRATOR

Tamara Levitt

AUTHOR

Tamara Levitt

This explores the tendency of grasping.

Calm is not free. I feel a tad guilty about suggesting something that isn’t free in that I am certain it will therefore appeal to very few people, so moving right along.

Today I decided I’d ring the changes in an entirely selfish fashion given that I have been trying to learn Italian for years without success and in my YouTube recommendations I found an Italian teacher who does ASMR. This is not at all medical. It is therefore not on theme for what I have been doing and I apologise for that. Normal service will be resumed soonish.

ASMR Your Italian Teacher Explains Italy Geography Lesson

It is a little less than twenty two minutes so somewhat shorter than some we have been used to. There are comments – a fair few of those and mostly positive too which bodes well. The channel is AppleWhispers ASMR. I am pretty certain I have not been here before; it has 4.15k subscribers, four videos, no playlists and there is even a medical themed video:

So, I may be returning to review that if nothing else. With only four videos over the course of very few blog articles I could review all that there are. Assuming the present one is impressive, at any rate.

There are notes with the channel (of course):

“AppleWhispers ASMR

Description

🌙 Welcome to AppleWhispers ASMR! Hi, I’m Elena! 🤍 I’ve been creating ASMR videos for over 6 years, helping people relax, unwind and fall asleep. I also run one of Italy’s largest ASMR channels, AppleTingles ASMR, and I finally decided to create a space for my English-speaking audience. Here you’ll find: ✨ Soft spoken & whispered ASMR 🩺 Medical roleplays 💆 Personal attention 😴 Sleep & relaxation videos 🎧 Tingly sounds and cozy atmospheres Thank you for being here. I hope my videos can bring you a little peace, wherever you are in the world. Whether you’re here to relax after a long day, reduce anxiety or simply fall asleep, I hope you’ll feel safe and welcome. Sweet dreams, Elena 🍎 🇮🇹 My Italian ASMR channel: https://www.youtube.com/@AppleTinglesASMR“

So that is interesting. This is just a sideline channel o the main feast as it were. I may be reviewing that other channel in future then.

The video (of course) also has notes:

“72,761 views  10 Aug 2026  #asmr #sleep #relax

Today we’re taking a relaxing journey across Italy, exploring the geography, history and fascinating facts that make my country so unique.

Many people know Italy for pizza, pasta and beautiful cities, but there’s so much more to discover.

In this ASMR geography lesson we’ll explore:

🇮🇹 Why Italy is actually a surprisingly young country

🏔️ How the Dolomites were once ancient coral reefs

🌋 Italy’s active volcanoes

🏛️ Vatican City and San Marino

🌊 Italy’s incredible geography

🏞️ Mountains, lakes and coastlines

…and many more fascinating facts!

So, sit back, relax, and let me guide you through one of the world’s most beautiful countries.

If you enjoy this video, let me know in the comments! I’d love to continue this series and explore more of Italy together. ❤️

🍎 Welcome to AppleWhispers ASMR!

Hi, I’m Elena! 🤍

I’m so happy you’re here.

My goal is to help you relax, unwind and fall asleep through gentle whispers, personal attention and immersive ASMR roleplays.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🎧 For relaxation purposes only.

Please do not listen while driving or operating machinery.”

I’ve truncated those a lot.

The warning is amusing, who knew that ASMR could be as powerful as a bottle of Night Nurse.

The video starts without music and surprisingly to me it is in English. OK, English teacher teaching Italian, makes sense.

Even for ASMR it seemed a bit slow to me. Despite that, the voice level is ideal, calm, quiet but not a whisper – quite a rare thing.

However, as far as the teaching Italian goes – no Italian. Some details about Italy but not the language as such. OK, serves me right, I should have stuck to the blog theme and stopped dithering about.

At least there aren’t any gloves-related noises in this one. There is the occasional stoke of the map (fingers on paper). But mainly this is all about the voice which is just the way I like it. After a while I found myself adapting to the slower pace and it became ever more restful as I kept listening.

I rather liked this one (as I am certain you understand from that review). Why not take a listen for yourself.

The inadvertent ASMR video this week comes from a time when I was doing the odd diversion from medical themed ASMR videos and so I had a listen to a woodblock carving video and I rather liked what I heard.

I sent myself a reminder to look it up again (Three years ago now) and so here I am with not one but two videos delivered to you in the form of a playlist:

The channel is David Bull with 192k subscribers, One hundred and forty seven videos, seven playlists of which (unsurprisingly) none at all are on a medical theme. I really am taking a foray to stage left this week.

The channel has notes “

“David Bull

Description

Tokyo-based woodblock printmaker David Bull has created a number of video presentations of his work, including a number of videos showing the complete process of making his prints. A highlight of the channel is the series of videos chronicling the production of prints in the Ukiyoe Heroes series – his collaboration with US-based illustrator Jed Henry.

A great deal of the work for producing these videos is recently being assisted by the Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/mokuhankan/    Thank you very much for your support!

Dave streams three times a week from our Twitch account: https://www.twitch.tv/japaneseprintmaking

Links

Mokuhankan workshopmokuhankan.com

Our Patreon pagepatreon.com/mokuhankan

Woodblock.com websitewoodblock.com

Twitch livestreamingtwitch.tv/japaneseprintmaking”

The first video is this one:

Japanese Woodblock Printmaking Workshop – Hakobi

It too has notes:

“50,125 views 27 May 2021 TOKYO

This is the first in a series of videos demonstrating various traditional techniques and tools in the Japanese mokuhanga woodblock printmaking industry and how we use them today here at Mokuhankan.

Today’s video is about the pigment brushes our printers use, known as ‘hakobi’ (運び) or ‘tokibo’ (解き棒). First Suga-san tells us a little bit about what hakobi are for and why she makes her own instead of only using store-bought ones, and then she demonstrates the whole process from start to finish. Finally, we have a slideshow at the end going over the tying steps again for you to follow while making your own.

We have a list of ideas and have started the process of making more of these – but please feel free to leave a comment about what techniques and tools you are interested in learning about so we can consider your ideas for future videos.

Narration and demonstrations: Natsuki Suga

Cinematography: Yasuhiro Aoyama and Cameron Hilker

Editing and Subtitling: Cameron Hilker

Hasegawa Typeface: Markku Mujunen (https://mokuhankan.com/fonts/ and http://markkumujunen.com/)

On Dave’s personal website, there is more information on making these tools:

http://woodblock.com/encyclopedia/ent…

http://woodblock.com/manga/hakobi/ind…

The Mokuhankan Twitch channel (where you can watch Dave use the tools shown here):

  / japaneseprintmaking 

The Mokuhankan website:

https://mokuhankan.com

Our Patreon campaign:

  / mokuhankan  “

There are a large number of comments and a number are positive. Some lead me to suspect that ASMR fans are already well aware of this one.

It is a little over fifteen and a half minutes so not huge but bear in mind this week we have two of them to listen to.

It starts with the weather and the weather is rather blustery. There is the sound of crows, of the wind, and the rain. We find that this video is actually in Japanese and is being subtitled. The person presenting has a good voice and the pace is excellent. I love the intonation of the Japanese language and given the subject matter I have some assurance that no rude words have snuck in (despite the fact I have no comprehension of the language personally and I am relying on the subtitles).

There are some random noises, which we’d expect given the subject matter is about woodblock printing not ASMR. There are water noises, paper-related noises, scissors cutting noises, a background noise which sounds like sanding (by hand). The end is a series of instructions with no voice; there is just some background noise, which sounds like cleaning activity to me. If anything, this section of the video is more restful than the rest.

The credits indicate that the narrator/presenter was Natsuki Suga and it may well be worthwhile keeping an eye open for further videos from this source.

The second video is a little alike the first, it is this one:

Japanese Woodblock Printmaking Workshop – A Printer’s Tools and Workspace

it too has notes: “64,382 views 21 Jul 2021 MOKUHANKAN (JAPANESE WOODBLOCK PRINTS AND MORE)

This is the second in our ever-growing series of videos demonstrating various traditional techniques and tools in the Japanese mokuhanga woodblock printmaking style and how we use them today here at Mokuhankan.

Today, Natsuki Suga gives us a tour of her printing bench and surrounding workspace. Watch to learn a bit more about each tool she uses in her daily work as a printmaker. We hope you will enjoy this overview and learn something along the way, as well.

We have a list of ideas and have started the process of making more of these – but please feel free to leave a comment about what techniques and tools you are interested in learning about so we can consider your ideas for future videos.

Printmaker and Host: Natsuki Suga

Video and Photos: Cameron Hilker

Hasegawa Typeface: Markku Mujunen (https://mokuhankan.com/fonts/ and http://markkumujunen.com/)

To see Suga-san actually using this space, watch this video:

   • Woodblock Printing Process – A Japan Journey 

The Mokuhankan Twitch channel (where you can watch Dave use many of the tools shown here):

  / japaneseprintmaking 

The Mokuhankan website:

https://mokuhankan.com

Our Patreon campaign:

  / mokuhankan  “

It is little less than fourteen- and three-quarter minutes. The comments are still largely positive and again some of the comments lead me to suspect that ASMR fans have come visiting. It starts loud though, with the sound of a train and various city related noises. Again, we have Natsuki Suga as the presenter, same great voice, same peaceful style. If anything, less background noise. This time Natsuki is not on the floor. I did fear for the knees in that position but less fearful when sat at a desk. The subject in itself appears to me fascinating but of course we are here for the sound and I would say we are well served in that respect. I like the intonation; I like the pace. There is the overarching sense of peace about the entire presentation.

So, two whole videos this week and a playlist thrown in for fun.

I wish you well in your drive to get more sleep.

That’s it on this occasion, more next time.

See you again next week.

The David Bull playlist on The Procrastination Pen is here:

The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:

I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.

The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:

I can’t be bothered to stop my listening to log on, this interrupts the experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.

I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.

If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.

Until next time.

Photo by Deep.ai

Sleeping With ASMR

I have not been having a lot of luck with the inadvertent ASMR material of late and I feel a bit of weeding of the playlist coming on in the near future. I am considering stopping the focus on medical themed videos. Although there appear to be thousands of videos to choose from out there, the number incorporating someone with a quiet calm voice and lacking much extraneous noise seem to be rather small. We’ll see how things go.

So, the good news is that, apparently, if you do not get the seven to nine hours sleep a night but you are still getting good quality sleep, then that might be good enough. A good sign being that the sleep is refreshing for you.

Sadly, though, the prevalence of insomnia increases as people get older. Particularly if, as you get older, you develop health conditions that impact sleep.

The things that I habitually do or have done to improve sleep, for instance, napping in the day, sleeping longer at weekends (about the only time I do feel refreshed) tend to make things worse. I have not tried drinking alcohol deliberately in order to get to sleep but that isn’t any help either (if you were about to try it). Alcohol makes it seem that it is easier to get to sleep but then goes on to ruin the quality of any sleep that you actually get.

The priority is to develop a sleep habit. Breaking the habit by additional naps or sleeping longer overall disimproves the situation.

There are more helpful techniques, for example, making use of a progressive muscle relaxation exercise to try to relax. It turns out that there are a large number of these on YouTube and just at random here is an example:

There’s even a non-YouTube option:

(it does require that you create an account to listen and it has no download option).

There is also a downloadable (MP3) which does not seem to require an account to access it:

Another suggested helpful approach which I struggle with is to make sleep a habit. Habits are the things that we thrive on. If you want to keep doing something, make it into a routine thing that you can repeat without thinking.

There are also habits that can detract from sleeping such as reading in bed, watching TV, keeping the phone near the bed (where it proves distracting).

Of course, if you cannot get comfortable then sleeping is made more difficult. The most comfortable sleep I had was once when abroad. I researched the mattress and found it was only available in the United States. Therefore, you have my sympathies if you also find it difficult finding something comfortable to sleep on.

However, reserving the bed for sleep only is important if you are already having trouble sleeping. It might be that if your partner regularly disturbs you during your sleep that you may have to sleep separately for example which some couples are currently exploring.

It’s also important that any preparation for sleep occurs elsewhere than the bedroom. This associates the bedroom solely with sleep.

You can also prepare in advance. For instance, going upstairs sometime before bedtime and drawing curtains and/or dimming the lights.

The entire sleep habit will probably start sometime before bed say two hours before – any reading will occur outside the bedroom; eating will have stopped and some light stretching (but no heavy exercise). Lowering the temperature down to close to eighteen degrees and ensuring your feet stay warm.

The association of the bed with sleep is an important feature of getting to sleep quickly. There are some habits that can break this association such as pursuing other activities in bed, such as reading

Using alcohol may help a person fall asleep but impacts the ability to get sufficient deep sleep. The clue is the feeling of tiredness when you wake up. In addition, commonly after alcohol, you will need to wake up perhaps more than once to go to the bathroom which further disrupts sleep.

The problem is that if you do not currently associate the bed with sleep you are likely to spend time in bed tossing and turning rather than actually sleeping and this further disrupts the association of the bed with sleep. Therefore, if you do not fall asleep within (say) fifteen minutes it is actually better to get up from bed and only return when you feel tired enough to actually drop off to sleep.

Going to bed early in this context may actually be counterproductive. If you are not tired enough to sleep you are more likely to lie awake rather than to sleep. It is not possible to force yourself to sleep in this way so the activity is more likely to disrupt the association of the bed with sleeping.

Exercise is great for sleep and a regular exercise programme pursued during the day will aid in the eventual sleep process. However, exercising too close to sleep time has the opposite effect as it will tend to energise – boosting both energy levels and body temperature, both things that you do not need when you want to get to sleep.

Eating in the evening will tend to deleteriously affect the ability to drop off. Drinking at night will have the tendency to mean that you’ll need to get up to go to the toilet. This will obviously impact the quality of your sleep.

Anyone who has a poor association of the bed with sleeping is going to make that worse by doing anything else in the bed but sleeping. Reading, texting, watching TV all of these can mean that it takes longer than fifteen minutes to fall asleep when in bed.

Frustration in the sleeping process is a good sign that you have a poor association between the bed and sleeping. You will then need to go through a process of reassociating the bed with sleep. You should start the sleep process about fifteen minutes after getting into bed. If you are just lying there and not sleeping it is better to get up and to only return to bed when you are feeling drowsy. Although initially it seems that you are missing out on sleep because you are spending time out of the bedroom, it will bear dividends in that ultimately when you go to bed you will fall asleep within fifteen minutes.

It is important that on moving room you do not engage in stimulating activities (watching TV, eating, using the phone, answering email and so on). The second space you have moved to also needs to be unstimulating. Reading is good for this, preferably under a light that uses a red spectrum bulb.

You can use white noise to mask background noise to help you to sleep.

It turns out that there is (surprise, surprise) white noise on YouTube as well:

(It seems rather loud to me).

There are some freely playable ones here:

https://white-noises.com/#sounds

and some downloadable versions here:

The Calm track this week is this one:

https://www.calm.com/app/player/4McuYeyMYG

Daily Jay

Yes, and…

NARRATOR

Jay Shetty

The rules we choose to live by, choosing acceptance and the flow of life. Always say yes. Accept what is offered and work with it. Do not resist. Yes and means you take what is offered and you take action; it is not merely acceptance. We get to decide our next step.

As I may have mentioned Calm is not free. So only check this out if you already have a subscription (or you really want one).

The professional ASMR video this week is from a channel I reviewed recently, BehindTheMoons (I noted) produces videos in both English and in French. Last time I reviewed this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEK1fSO-gUI i.e. the English language version.

However, a link in the notes from the same video tells me that there is a French version of the same thing. i.e. this video:

[subtitled] ASMR in French – Futuristic Hearing Test [The Personal Enhancing Hearing Device ◉]

I want a chance to run a fully independent review of the French version and see if I reach a different conclusion. Same person, same premiss, simply a different language. Does that affect my impression of it.

As I mentioned before BehindTheMoons has 262k subscribers, two hundred and eighty four videos, but only four playlists some of which (obviously) are in French.I covered the channel notes last time (there are a lot of them) so I will not go over them again.

Today’s video also has notes, which are lengthy. Most professional ASMR artists go in for extensive notes:

“1,012,209 views Premiered on 5 Mar 2023 #ASMRfr #ASMR #ASMRFrance

Please use your headphones to get the best experience from this video 🎧

Disclaimer: This is an ASMR video solely made to help you relax and unwind. I am not a medical professional, please get in touch with one if you need to have your hearing checked. Also, the Personal Enhancing Hearing Device ◉ doesn’t exist yet, unfortunately 😦 ____Hi everyone,

Today is the day. Let me onboard you and tell you everything about the Personal Enhancing Hearing Device ◉, as you are about to get yours installed and improve your experience of the world around you.

This device enhances your auditory field, as well as creates bridges between your senses. For example, a visual or olfactory stimulus will create an auditory response. Welcome into the Future.

The ASMR triggers you will get mostly ear to ear soft-spoken voice and close-up whispers, follow the light exercise, all senses exercises, instructions to follow, personal attention, hand movements, additional dreamy visuals and sounds.

In this video I mix your usual cranial nerve exam and well as hearing test with science fiction, I hope you will like it.

The English version is available here:    • ASMR – Futuristic Hearing Test [The Person… 

Thank you for watching the video and for reading the description. Take care,”

As before I have truncated these. None of us have the time for extensive reading of notes I am certain.

You will have noticed that for some reason the notes are not in French. I have no idea why that is.

The video is a little shorter. The English version was close to thirty minutes and this is a little over twenty-five and a half minutes. There are comments and some of these are not in French. They appear general praising which is all to the good.

There is brief music at the start as there was with the English language version, I therefore presume this is some kind of branding. I am not a fan of music in ASMR videos, it distracts from the ASMR-ish-ness of them. However, at least this music is brief and therefore not overly distracting.

If anything, I would say that the voice of the presenting person is even better in their native language (no surprises, I suppose). It isn’t whispered but it is low and calm and quiet.

I had not realised that French has some of the noises that ASMR artists recreate artificially (presumably because they are triggers for a group of ASMR fans). I can hear an occasional mouth clicking sound, for example.

I have the sense that I prefer this in French. I can sense that perhaps foreign language presentations may start to form a larger part of those videos I review from this point onwards. It has been comparatively rare so far. Although, to be honest, I rarely find them.

This time I tried listening with the headphones on (as recommended in the video notes). I would say that it does make a positive difference, not least when directional affects are implemented. It also helps to filter out some of the household noises. Having a new hearing aid has its downsides.

The muted part of the video and the hearing device calibration is clever but strange. It is not overly distracting. However, I am going to try listening to it when trying to get to sleep and see if that situation remains.

Even with the presentation enunciated in French, the on-screen prompts are still in English which feels a little odd as well. However, if you’re as tired as I am when listening to these videos, I doubt you’ll be doing much in the way of watching, mostly it is just a sleep aid.

As for the previous videos there are clicks, clonks, keyboard sounds, nail clicking sounds, the odd musical tone. Some of these seem to go on for a bit (or I’m more tired than when I reviewed the last one).

I still think that this has the slight edge on the English Language version. Why not take a listen and see what you think.

I realised recently that I have been reviewing ASMR tracks since 2023. You’d think I’d find something grown up to do with my life.

In all that time I focused on inadvertent ASMR videos. Sometimes there have been real gems and sometimes not so much. I have had a fallow period of late I recognise. Let’s see what todays brings.

Today’s video is this one:

Golfer’s & Tennis Elbow Assessment – OSCE Guide | Clip | UKMLA | CPSA | PLAB 2

Here I feel on more solid ground, but mostly it is because it is from a channel where we have reviewed it so often, I must be getting to the stage of nearly having reviewed every video it has.

This is Geeky Medics https://www.youtube.com/@geekymedics, with 1.46m subscribers, three hundred and fifty-four videos, twenty playlists. Well, I’m wrong in that case there is no way I have had the time to individually document three hundred and fifty-four videos. OK, well plenty of scope for the future we can say then.

The problem with all the geeky medics videos I have reviewed thus far is the inclusion of some pretty peppy music which, frankly, is the last thing that you need around snooze time.

This one is scarcely over one and a quarter minutes and you guessed it despite the short length still finds time to cram in some music at the start of it.

There are notes: “82,306 views 26 Sept 2022 Musculoskeletal Examination OSCE Guides | CPSA | UKMLA | PLAB | MRCS

This video demonstrates how to screen for Golfer’s elbow (medial epicondylitis) and Tennis elbow (lateral epicondylitis) in an OSCE station.

You can read our guide to elbow examination here: https://geekymedics.com/elbow-examina…”

Which I am deliberately keeping brief. There are comments, but precious few of these and none from ASMR fans that I can see. Oh dear.

The video though is excellent with the medical professional having an excellent voice and the patient equally so. It is a shame that it is not a longer video to be honest. Of course it has to conclude with yet more music…

On that basis, just one, video this time.

That’s it on this occasion, more next time.

See you again next week.

The Geeky Medics playlist on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:

I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.

The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:

I can’t be bothered to stop my listening to log on, this interrupts the experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.

I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.

If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.

Until next time.

Photo by Deep.ai

Car Ownership Guide

An idea which might appeal to owners of cars out there if you have a car which you are interested in and are knowledgeable about then I am happy to write an article about it and post it on this blog.

The work for you is that (unless you are located very close to me) I will need you to answer a questionnaire (and possibly some follow-on questions) and I will need you to have reasonable ability with a digital camera – the blog is going to need pictures as well.

Although I compiled the following article from an interview in the old fashioned – turn up ask questions – manner. It seems feasible that I could compile a questionnaire from this which I could despatch to whoever was interested.

I am hoping that the idea has appeal and will encourage people to submit cars. If you are reading this blog and you’re aware of someone else who will fit the bill by all means pass along details so that they can profit from it.

A considerable number of years ago, when it was easier to dream, I had in mind that I would like to write for a classic car magazine. At that time one of the magazines was featuring a “Best of the Web” article. I was working in IT and loved old cars and so this suited me well.

For a short while I researched and wrote these articles and fitted it in around the day job.

Sadly there was a change at the magazine and it was determined (probably correctly) that the “Best of the Web” article was as boring as a lengthy parliamentary speech. So it was pulled.

A person less given to dreaming would probably have seen the writing on the wall. I hadn’t yet let go of that writing dream however and so I tried to come up with some ideas of articles that I could do.

I was approaching the very limits of expertise. I had no background in engineering or in journalism but I wasn’t going to let this stop me.

I realised that once in a while a very knowledgeable person drawn from a classic car club would lay out what it was like to own a specific kind of car. Such accounts were no doubt rose-tinted and that suited my somewhat romantically idealised view of ancient machines.

So I set about contacting owners clubs but I was aware that I could not use the cachet of any magazine’s name as strictly speaking I didn’t work for any of them.

Unsurprisingly for a very long time I didn’t get any takers.

Eventually however I had a response from Tom Lucas who was the owner of a Lomax. For those uninitiated to this car it is a vehicle that you could assemble yourself based upon a 2CV.

It turns out that I had been very lucky to find Tom. Not only was he knowledgeable and keen, he was also willing to help someone who quite obviously was no journalist.

I have subsequently discovered that Tom Lucas (surely the same man) published a book called “Lomax the First Ten Years” bookfinder.

The car YSU191 has also been the recipient of prizes.

It is also apparently still taxed and MOTd to this date according to the DVLA.

Tom, if you are reading this, thank-you for your help.

I returned to the magazine in the hope of a new venture but it turned out I was not as good at this writing business as I had hoped. There was certainly no suggestion of the article being used.

As a result I am free to use the article on this blog all these years later and hopefully Tom will get to see it here.

This was the article:

 

Ownership Guide

Engine

This is usually removed from a 2CV, the engine can be taken from an Ami 8, Dyane or from the rarer Ami Super.

Most Lomax are built with a standard 602cc 2CV, Dyane or Ami 8 engine (these are essentially the same being an air-cooled flat twin of 30 BHP).

The older 435cc engine (not found in donor cars after the 1970s) will fit but is rarely used.

Useful power improvements can be obtained by fitting the Ami Super engine (1015cc). This is a flat-four air-cooled engine and requires the 4-speed gearbox from the same car.

Alternatively the later Citroen GS (1299cc) unit is a simple exchange.

The Citroen Visa power plant (652cc) provides a more complex challenge. This 38 BHP motor had electronic ignition requiring sensors on the gearbox bell housing which do not easily fit the 2CV. One method in use is to utilise motorcycle electronic ignition from a BMW on the front of the engine.

Officially any 2CV engine from 1985 will run on unleaded; however engines from the 1960s are currently running on unleaded without detrimental effects.

The exception is the Visa 9 ½:1 compression engine, which requires super-unleaded.

The standard engine is “bullet proof,” even modified engines tend to have a standard bottom-end, as it is very tough.

Valve and seats are very hard and recession tends not to be a problem. Valve clearances are checked then checked again after the first 6000 miles. If no recession is detectable no further checks are necessary.

Oil Changes

It is worthwhile doing regular oil changes at 3000 miles – maintaining this interval gives increased engine life expectancy of 150,000 miles with 300,000 miles a possibility.

10/40 oil is recommended for the 2CV but the Lomax has different requirements due to the absence of the cooling fan from the front of the engine. This means that the engine runs hotter than in the 2CV a 20/50 oil should therefore be used.

Use of synthetic (or semi-synthetic) oil is not required.

The oil filter should be changed at the same time as the oil. This is easily accessible as the bonnet can be removed in one piece. It is therefore considerably easier to access than in the 2CV donor.

Parts are available from ECAS (Eastwood Continental AutoSpares) of Stafford (01785) 282882.

Carburettor

The standard 2CV is fitted with a single carburettor positioned in the middle of the engine over the crankcase (a downdraft Solex).

This requires a long manifold to each cylinder.

Post 1982 2CVs, Dyanes and Amis were fitted with a twin choke version – this yields 2-3 BHP extra.

A common modification is to fit 2 motorbike carbs on short manifolds (for example the flat slide Dellortos from a Moto Guzzi). This modification yields significant performance advantages.

Ignition

There is no standard distributor; instead there is a points box rather like that on a motorcycle engine.

This has a 2-lobe cam producing a spark to both cylinders at every engine revolution via a double-ended coil.

The cylinder that is on the compression stroke is able to use the spark to fire. The cylinder on the exhaust stroke gets a ‘wasted spark’.

Modifications include electronic ignition kits from Lumenition – this replaces the points and box lid with a sensor (£115). An alternative “123” Dutch-made kit is available through ECAS. This replaces the point’s box and the advance/retard mechanism (£112).

Gearbox

All gearboxes fitted since the start of production are the same in that they are all 4 speed.

The internal ratios differ slightly, the Dyane having a slightly higher ratio in top gear.

The gearbox is behind the engine and drive is transmitted via drive shafts incorporating disc or drum brakes.

The low weight of the Lomax and its relatively small frontal area (compared to the 2CV) make the gearing a handicap.

Top gear limits performance to around 80mph, as higher speeds would cause the engine to rev excessively (no taller final-drive ratios are available).

Gearbox rebuilds are very rarely required, as they are very durable. For instance large, quality, bearings were used in the gearbox manufacture. Regular gearbox oil changes at 12,000-mile intervals are recommended to prolong gearbox life. Reconditioned gearboxes are available from ECAS (£220).

Brakes

The brakes are inboard – either drums or discs dependent upon the age of the donor (cars prior to 1982 having drum brakes). Changing pads is easy; changing shoes requires removal of the driveshaft first.

Drum braked cars tend to have a more effective hand brake as the disk-braked cars have separate (small) pads for the handbrake. The lightweight of the Lomax however, means that this handbrake system is still adequate in disk-braked cars.

No flexible brake pipes are employed. The solid brake pipes are coiled to take up any suspension movement. Despite this unusual arrangement no brake pipe fractures take place.

The gearbox from a Citroen GS comes with 11” disc brakes which would seem a useful modification. However, the Lomax is already significantly lighter than the donor car so no changes to the brakes are necessary.

Later Citroens with disc brakes do not use standard brake fluid but LHM mineral oil. The seals on these cars are a different material to those on drum-braked models (which use standard brake fluid). This means that the correct fluid must be used. In addition when replacing the rear-wheel brake cylinder it is critical to select the right one (the LHM version is painted green).

Rust

The body of the Lomax is GRP and hence does not suffer from rust problems; however the chassis is of steel and from the donor car.

Earlier cars had better chassis (those built in the late 1960s) particularly the Ami – these are therefore better donors.

The chassis from an Ami Super is a good choice as it is made from 1.2mm steel. The 2CV chassis is made from 0.8mm steel.

Cars manufactured between 1987 and 1990 tend to be more prone to rust and should be avoided.

Alternatives include a galvanised square section tubular steel chassis produced by The Lomax Motor Company.

Alternatively ECAS sell a galvanised replacement 2CV chassis for £430.

Preservation of the chassis when constructing the car is recommended. To do this, prop the framework against a wall so that it is close to vertical. Pour in Waxoyl from the top and allow it to drain through.

The exhausts rot out regularly due to the small engine and long exhaust, the rear of which remains relatively cool even with prolonged use. This means that acids tend to condense causing deterioration of the back box.

It is common to use a motorcycle silencer on the Lomax, but in this application a stainless one is recommended.

Body

The body is all GRP and the floor is of plywood.

The GRP gelcoat is a popular finish to leave the car in when first assembled.

The colours available include British Racing Green, Pillar-Box Red and Anchusia Blue.

However the finish tends to fade in UV light (i.e. in the sun) dark shades particularly becoming unattractive after a number of years. The car can then be sprayed conventionally to disguise this.

Crazing of the GRP can occur at stress points over extended periods of time. Replacement panels are available or if the body tub is affected it is cheaper to grind away the gelcoat and fill with fibreglass resin.

Suspension

Most Lomax cars are assembled using the 3-wheeler format– this entails removal of one of the rear suspension arms. The remaining arm is modified at the Lomax factory allowing it to be turned through 1800 to be inboard of the rear chassis arm (which is removed).

The suspension is totally derived from the 2CV with horizontal canisters containing the road springs.

The kingpins tend to wear if they are not greased at 500-mile intervals. To replace these, the driveshafts have to be removed and the bushes replaced with a press or a sledgehammer and a drift can be employed for similar results. After 2 or 3 sets of kingpins have been fitted the arm is too worn to accept another set and must be replaced (£95).

The suspension arms turn on taper-roller bearings which can show signs of wear at 100,000 miles (£24.50 each – 2 of per unit) – they are sealed for life so once fitted need no maintenance.

Genuine Citroen telescopic shock absorbers are required (£65) as they are designed to work on their side – conventional shock absorbers would wear out very swiftly if employed.

The Lomax suspension is lowered when compared with the donor 2CV. The suspension arms have tie rods, which are threaded. Releasing these rods a few threads lowers the suspension. This increases the kingpin castor angle improving the self-centring of the steering with a slight increase in kingpin wear as a penalty.

The lowered suspension can “bottom-out” and so modifications have been developed to use both suspension canisters.

Lomax has chosen to use a “rear anti-roll bar.” An alternative is to use the arrangement originally designed for a competing kit car (the Falcon). A front anti-roll bar on the three-wheeler is a requirement to prevent the car banking hard into corners.

The anti-roll bar from a Citroen Ami 8 or Ami Super can be used to make cornering safer (these are now scarce). The Lomax Motor Company now manufactures its own version. Alternatives are available from other kit-car manufacturers e.g. Black Jack in Helston.

Performance Improvements

The air filter is a bulky item which can be improved with a low restriction type, such as that manufactured by K&N.

Removing the front cooling fan and ducting is good for 2 BHP.

Carburettor improvements include use of the later twin-choke version (2-3 BHP over the standard item) or use of twin motorcycle carbs.

Performance cams are now available due to the popularity of 2CV racing.

Modifications include boring out a standard 2CV engine to fit a Citroen Visa piston – this raises capacity to 650cc whilst retaining the same stroke as the 602cc. The downside is that the cylinder side wall is made very thin by this modification and the engine can seize whilst running in.

Swapping the 602cc engine for the 650cc engine from the Citroen Visa is workable (the camshaft in the Visa engine is “hotter” than standard) but this is not an easy modification.

Driving

3 wheeled driving is a very different experience. The car has a sports car stance being close to the ground and alighting requires climbing down into the seats.

The suspension retains the donor’s ability to soak up potholes – only finding difficulty with the taller “sleeping policemen”. If the rear wheel hits a diesel patch or wet manhole cover then the rear can step out, but will swiftly regain traction.

The insurance is very low due to the small engine size.

There is lots of capacity in the boot for shopping or even continental touring.

The car is relatively safe in accidents due to built-in weak points in the Citroen chassis– a built in “crumple-zone”. These fold in the event of accident protecting the cockpit from serious damage.

The performance is better than the 2CV donor with good acceleration and 80mph normal. It will cruise at 70mph easily.

It is equally manoeuvrable handling twisty back roads faster than a number of conventional vehicles.

The controls are conventional apart from the gear change pattern where 1st is opposite reverse. The handbrake is an umbrella version (from 2CV donor) although some builders have opted for a more conventional handbrake layout.

 

 

With thanks to Tom Lucas for advice and information. Tom is the author of “Lomax the First Ten Years” (£10 from most bookstores).

 

 

 

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Fifty Special Things – Cambridge Gin Laboratory

When: 18-02-2017

Where: Cambridge Gin Laboratory

Price: Free – It was a gift

Review: excellent way to spend a few hours, several different courses available

Tip: take the bus, and then you can spend the rest of the day in the bar next door.

I remember when I was thinking about how to make the fifty special things work that one problem was always going to be budget. Having made the decision to try to make my fiftieth year a special one, how do you afford it all?

So it was with great delight that I received a gift of a gin tasting session at the Cambridge Gin Lab.

It turns out that it is very popular, the day we went it was full up. I imagine other days are not dissimilar.

Gin 1

The Cambridge Gin Laboratory is at 10 Green Street, Cambridge.

Gin 2

There is a board outside to confirm location and a sign on the door.

At the time I was convinced that I was going to rule the world via the medium of blogging – such that there is quite a strong pictorial record.

Gin 3

Gin 4

It was around the time of this visit that I began to comprehend just how fashionable gin had become and just how many people were keen to get in on the act.

Gin 5

The lab is downstairs and is laid out with all kinds of gin-related paraphernalia.

Gin 6

Prior to the gin sampling itself there is a very interesting talk on gin and the history of gin from which I made a few notes.

Gin 7

Note the picture of the black Labrador on the wall, said to be the reason why it is called the Cambridge Gin “Lab”.

There are various events available including a tailoring option to create a unique gin.

Gim 8

Gin is actually juniper-flavoured vodka. The predominant flavour must be juniper. The juniper “berry” is used (which is technically a cone). No sugar.

The nose of gin is often described as “piney”. Juniper was used for medicinal purposes for a long time. However claims that drinking gin is healthy are sadly untrue.

Gin 9

A monastery used to distil wine and float botanicals in it and used this as a treatment. Drinking this though was not tasty so they started to sweeten it.

Gin 10

Traditional gin was produced in the Low Countries (Dutch) in the 15th Century. Jenever was their name for juniper.

Gin 11

The English fought the Dutch in the 30 years’ war. Soldiers began to be given alcohol before they went into battle – it became referred to as “Dutch courage”.

The English then started to make their own gin. The gin craze was between 1720 and 1751.

This could be thought of as the first drug war. In the poor areas of London 1/3 of households were making and selling gin. However there was lots of methanol left in it which is poisonous. Some sellers cut the result with turpentine which is poisonous.

They were drinking 80% ABV in pints – like beer. They became very addicted.

The Gin Acts 1751 started to legislate gin production.

William Hogarth 1751 creates two paintings Gin Lane is political propaganda intended to encourage people to switch back to beer (Beer Street).

Gin Lane
GinLane

Beer Street
Beer Street - Calle de la cerveza

Beer Street and Gin lane
Beer-street-and-Gin-lane

Gin was still allowed to be drunk however.

The theory is that Hogarth was paid by the beer industry to encourage people to drink beer.

The Gin Act was passed. After crop failures and attempts at alternative beverages – they eventually got better at making gin.

Alcohol fermentation, involving yeast processes on sugar, produces heat, carbon-dioxide and ethanol (together with other alcohols).

ABV (ethanol by volume) the maximum that fermentation achieves is 15% ABV. (You can heat the result to make it stronger).

To distil – put the alcohol in a still – heat it. It starts to boil and evaporate. The outlet tube is cooled in water (it is coiled to increase its surface area).

Simple distillation apparatus

Different compounds boil at different temperatures:
Ethanol 78.4oC
Methanol 60oC (ish)

You track the temperature and collect the low boiling point liquid and dispose of it, this is referred to as the “head”.

You collect the middle boiling point liquid and keep it.

You collect the higher boiling point liquid referred to as the “tails” and dispose of it.

In this way you get to concentrate what you want.

In vodka you remove a lot of the impurities, this produces 96% alcohol. In whisky you keep some impurities by retaining a greater heat range, this affects the flavour.

Gin started to be recognisably gin in the early 19th century – juniper is added during the distillation. Juniper flavour becomes incorporated into the gin.

They also started to use continuous distillation – here a huge still uses plates to draw off the distillate at the correct temperature range.


CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

Gin now starts to taste nicer – it becomes fashionable to have unsweetened gin.

London Dry Gin became fashionable – today this is a subcategory of gin.
London Dry Gin started in London but not made there anymore.

It is dry – not sweet – you must use real botanicals – these must go into the distillation pot and not be added afterwards.

Gin – is a shortening of jenever the Dutch for Juniper. Today other botanicals (plants) are used e.g. rose petal, cherry blossom, coriander seed, juniper cone.

These react differently to heat – the heat is high so the botanicals are added at different times – this is like adding ingredients in cooking.

You treat each botanical with the level of heat that suits it. The boiling point is related to atmospheric pressure – reducing pressure reduces the heat needed for boiling.

1 botanical is added at a time – you distil different botanicals. What comes out is not a gin, it is a flavoured distillate. Then you blend the distillates.

However it needs a basis of London dry gin. Therefore you can blend your own gin.

The distillery has 100s of distillates. It is tailoring gin to individuals, bars, and restaurants. You can use delicate things in gin e.g. cucumber.

Hendricks add the flavour afterwards – you can make a lot more gin this way – but not a London Dry Gin.

1 gin run takes 1 hour – there are 4 people in the company.

When we arrived we had a gin to start with which was a standard London Dry Gin with a fever-tree tonic. I rather liked this.

However we also got to use atomisers to spray gin directly into the mouth (well after some practice – the first squirt was directly into my eye). Atomisers contain the same spirit as the demijohns on shelves around the walls. They are used to allow tasting without consuming a lot of gin.

Brands feel it is important to be traditional – to have this as part of their brand.

Wheat is the basis of gin, potato potcheen (Poitín). Gin must be a neutral spirit – the basis does not have to be wheat, however if it is not wheat or potato then this fact must be listed on the bottle. Potato vodka is slightly oilier. Rye is slightly spicier (to a trained palette).

To make comparisons involves a system for tasting gin which needs consistency and needs a standardised language. Tasting is an ability that develops from training & experience. Room temperature is best to identify botanicals.

After the initial gin on entry and trying the atomisers there were 3 gins to try, these were sat on the table protected by glass lids.

The first apparently had rose and violet petals in it. The sequence is first mouth feel – it should feel somewhere between milk and water – medium. I have the palette of a straw bale I established.

There is no sweetness added – when you distil – sugar does not carry over, hence the distillate from pineapple has no sugar. What you can have is associative sweetness – this reminds you of sweet things for example florals gives this effect. (It’s all in the mind in fact).

It also had blackcurrant leaf – which gives a fruity flavour and basil, angelica, rosemary. Angelica is very common in gin – it is slightly spicy. In tasting you want to linger a little not too short.

You don’t have to prefer one that wins awards – as this is a measure of how well it is made rather than if you like it.

The Cambridge Distillery make different gins for different bars – Midsummer House has a herbal garden – we use those herbs in their gin.
Pint shop – Peas Hill we use peas in their gin.
College graduation gins – they forage for flowers in their garden – buy the gin which is unique to that year. Usually you have to go to the venue to taste their unique gin.

Japanese gin has become a retail product (this is the second gin that we tasted).
Nobu in London wanted one. It was made with a team of chefs inspired by botanicals used in Japanese cooking. This is light in intensity, the spirit is the same though. The botanicals are different, Juniper, cucumber, sesame, schiso leaf, almonds (it is marzipany), sanshō pepper (a bit perfumy), yuzu.

Botanicals are affected by the weather and are used seasonally. Each year there are seasonal gins. The ones in spring/summer are lighter. The ones in autumn/winter are more warming.

Each gin is therefore non-re-creatable. 100 bottles of each one are made and these sell quickly.

Autumn/winter gin contains bergamot. It has fennel in it, bergamot, rosemary, blackcurrant leaf, and juniper. It can manage a punchier tonic. They tend to use fever-tree as a good “go to” mixer…

The Dog – the black Lab is the lab dog Gin 12 he/she is why this place is called a gin lab Gin 13.

They capture the lightest 1% of stuff that evaporates referred to as the angel’s share of gin. They have made an angels share gin at £2000 a bottle.

They produced about 6 bottles, all sold quickly.

In addition to the tasting which we attended there is also available:

  • Histories and mysteries of gin session
  • Make your own bottle
  • Themed tastings

Given how great our session was these will also be worth a try.
Afterwards they give you a voucher to try a cocktail in the bar next door (accessible underground). The bar is on Trinity Street.

This is at 2648 Cambridge. Great cocktails which may make you want to stay.

As I say take the bus there…

Gin 14

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Things You Really Will be Doing Now You’re 50 – Part Five

Following on from part four of the things you are going to find when you’re 50.

https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-four

Ten more items from the same list:

  1. You can’t see road signs so you get glasses. You can’t see to thread a needle, so you get glasses. Any task involves juggling eyesight correcting devices. You develop a facility for recognising different varieties of fuzzy as objects.
  2. Just as you get to like something you find that the shops stop stocking it. Years ago you just moved on. Now you find yourself scanning auction sites, second hand stores, junk shops in the hope of continuing to use that thing you have a fondness for.
  3. Suddenly everything in the past seems more pleasant than today. You forget the shoddy brakes on your first car and wish you still had it. You forget the unpleasantness with the neighbour and consider that everyone was much friendlier then. Constant rain showers are dispelled in memories of long summers of unbroken sunshine. You have entered the nostalgia zone.
  4. After a long time of dismissing it as boring you find an hour of Gardeners’ World quite relaxing. You get drawn in. Before long you find that you are making way too many visits to garden centres. Eventually you start listening to Gardeners’ question time…
  5. You meet up with some friends that you haven’t seen in a long time. You know that you haven’t changed but you are shocked at how old they look…
  6. In conversation someone remarks that you have a lot less time to go than you have already had. After the message has had time to sink in you realise that actually you don’t mind about that. You wonder if that means there is something wrong with you.
  7. Whitening your teeth sounds a great idea. Surely this would improve your appeal to other people. However you realise that your mouth now contains more amalgam than tooth.
  8. Snoring will start to punctuate your night time hours. You will find no explanation for this. In order to avoid being murdered by your partner you take to the sofa.
  9. Your body formerly lived a halcyon existence of cooperative equanimity. Now the disparate parts engage in a war with one another. If one area is dry an adjacent area is greasy. If one is jittery due to inactivity another is tired out from exercise. Whilst one feels fit another feels damaged. Every action is punctuated with either fatigue, itching or little stabs of pain; apparently to remind you that this dispute is underway.
  10. Other people have now moved you from a position where you might have been appealing to some kind of universal parent figure. Your role is now to listen and support; to give advice (which they will ignore). This enables them to go on with their lives; in which it is never suspected you could be involved.

That’s the 50 things that will happen to you now that you are 50, I’d welcome any comments (unless of the trolling variety. If you like this blog please subscribe by email and you will get updates as I post new stuff.
If you missed part one you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50
If you missed part two you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-two
If you missed part three you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-three
If you missed part four you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-four

That’s it for this series.

Things You Really Will be Doing Now You’re 50 – Part Four

Following on from part three of the things you are going to find when you’re 50.

https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-three

Ten more items from the same list:

  1. Visiting a stately home seems a great idea. You’re persuaded that joining the National Trust/English Heritage will be fun. You find yourself visiting more and more stately homes. After a while you realise these places have only two kinds of visitors: harassed looking young adults with little ones or those moving at the speed of continents. You notice that you do not have any small people with you…
  2. It seems to you that you are on top of this technology business; you worked out how to use Facebook. WhatsApp turned out to be not so difficult. You are concerned though that you keep finding new technology that you’ve never heard of. The speed with which you’re supposed to learn new things seems laughable.
  3. It is cold; it always seems cold. You want warm, you want fashionable you choose Thinsulate…
  4. You’ve sailed through 5 decades with the odd nose bleed and a scraped elbow. Now every minor snuffle lays you low for weeks on end. You start considering flu jabs as a great health investment.
  5. Embracing new things has always been you; every new thing; especially TV programmes. Surprising then how often you find yourself watching David Attenborough, Columbo or Murder She Wrote.
  6. Food is a source of experimentation for you. You’ve tried them all; from sushi to witchetty grubs. Nothing is too wild for you. Recently though intestinal complaints have been so violent you require compensatory plumbing. Oatmeal seems a really tasty idea suddenly.
  7. There’s no way that age can be a barrier to music appreciation. After some diligent listening to chart music you determine that one or two tracks are actually quite enjoyable. When you tell people about this they think it is hysterical.
  8. There is someone gorgeous on the street. A part of your mind reminds you that they could be your child or worse still your grandchild.
  9. Since the age of 18 you’ve been the same weight. Clothes fitted nicely. You could eat what you liked. You felt comfortable in your body. Now you notice the belt is tighter. The scales reveal a depressing story. The weight hangs around your waistline like an accusatory life-preserver.
  10. When you were younger you scoffed at all the silver hair; swearing you would dye it before it got to that stage. Now you realise there is a race between it falling out and changing colour. You become grateful for any hair whatever its colour.

If you missed part one you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50
If you missed part two you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-two
If you missed part three you will find it here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/11/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-three

Watch out for part five here:
https://magic-phil.co.uk/2016/12/30/things-you-really-will-be-doing-now-youre-50-part-five