Sleeping With ASMR

In previous blog posts I have been promising to come back to this channel in the future. When we left it, there were a great many videos remaining. However, I did not want to get into a glut of videos as it is a distraction from the unintentional ASMR that this blog has been focusing on. As I’ve previously said, this is a bit of a guilty pleasure as the channel is dedicated to ASMR and therefore all of the curation work has been done. Assuming the channel owner has any taste, I should be able to just sit back and let the ASMR sensations wash over me.

However, it is not unknown for the odd jarring-pick to crop up on these sites and therefore I propose to give each video a formal review much as I would have done had I plucked it from a channel dedicated to medicine or to wood-block printing.

As far as I can tell, the videos remaining number sixteen, so I’ll cover eight more here, and a further eight in one final blog post in the future.

The channel of course is ASMR Exams and regular readers will know that I have given a thorough look at this channel, not once, but twice. Some of the videos do seem to have been worth the effort.

Of the remaining, this one is the first video:

Physical Assessment (ASMR)

This is twenty-one minutes long and has no notes and so no
immediate clues about the video. Comments have been permitted and as expected some of them are properly unhelpful.

Straight away, this is incredibly quiet. I have the volume turned right up and some of the speech still eludes me. However, on the positive side, it is too quiet for any offensive background noises to be heard.

The “patient” appears to be “Bernette” (that could well be an erroneous spelling) and the medical professional is Mary-Beth Robbins.

The location has the appearance of a professional medical establishment but for some reason has artwork on the wall (possibly a famous historical medical figure). Mary-Beth is very calm and gentle, however, Bernette seems quite amused by the process. So far, so student assessment video. It’s just that this one seems to have taken a hit on the volume control.

At the point of the eye test, we get a view of the other patients in the room and it becomes obvious that they are all dummies, in the manner that they are made of plastic, not that they are especially gullible. So far, so student educational establishment.

Mary-Beth has a prominent name tag but I just can’t see it well enough to determine if it identifies the location. However, there is that large “W” which is discernible.

In all quite excellent which is what we would expect from a channel dedicated to ASMR of course.

Physical Examination (ASMR)

This video is a bit longer at a bit over thirty minutes. Again, there are no notes, again there are comments, and again the comments are often unsupportive.

This video starts a bit loud. Lauren the “patient” (possibly misspelled), the medical professional does not introduce herself.

This time the setting appears to be domestic rather than professional.

The volume seems to wander about a bit despite the fact that the two participants remain a consistent distance from the camera/phone used to film it.

The quality of said camera must be off a bit too, if you did decide to watch rather than listen; it appears 1980s VHS quality. The medical professional is wearing a name badge but given the fuzziness of the output I defy anyone to read it. Therefore, there are no clues as to who/where this is.

Later in the video, the dog decides to be a semi-hidden participant by lying under the table on which Lauren is sat. Dogs seem to be natural hams as we have seen. I also notice that the medical professional is wearing carpet slippers (which might now be the standard hospital garb, for all I know).

Neither participant seems to have a natural ASMR voice but at least the soundtrack seems to lack extraneous noises. Lauren in particular seems to have quite a loud voice in fact. Also, at intervals Lauren coughs and that is quite loud in comparison with the ongoing interaction.

The medical professional as well has her loud moments, as if attempting to project to a large room. (Perhaps she is stood in a large room although you would not know to look at it, the camera being focused on one small corner of whichever room they are stood in). The medical professional also seems to be regularly consulting something (perhaps a checklist) but you won’t notice this at all if, as I recommend, you simply listen to this.

This might be a bit marginal in terms of the Procrastination Pen playlist. I will trial it and reserve the right to weed it out in the future.

Physical Examination (ASMR)

This time there are no notes and (thanks be to God) no comments either, no more snide nastiness, we can fast-forward directly to the content.

This one at thirty-four and a half minutes is slightly longer than either of the videos covered thus far. It shares the “is this out of focus?” appearance of the last one, so is obviously trading on the sound rather than the visuals.

It starts amazingly loud, like “ohmigod I was asleep” loud. The “patient” is introduced as Courtney (probably misspelled) the medical professional as “Holly” and unlike the exalted Hollie Berry, sadly, she does not have an ASMR voice, not in any way. More your “oyez, oyez, oyez” kind of voice. At intervals I would label it a shout rather than conversation. Fortunately maintaining that volume appears to be too much of an effort such that it ameliorates a bit. However, the presence of ongoing and easily overheard conversations in neighbouring rooms then becomes a distraction. In addition, we have the presence of continuous background noise like the sound of a 1950s reel-to-reel tape recorder.

It is a great shame but it does go to show that just because a video appears on an ASMR channel does not mean it is actually a great ASMR video. It is worth taking the time to evaluate for yourself; I am sure this happens on the Procrastination Pen equally as much as on ASMR Exams.

This one does not belong in the Procrastination Pen playlist.

Chiropractic Adjustment LOOPED (ASMR)

As I have already established I really do not like looped videos.

Several commentators do love this one though. At twenty three and three quarter minutes a bit shorter than the last two.

The medical professional has a great voice, but the marvelousness of that voice is ameliorated to a great extent by the sound of conversations from adjacent rooms. There is also the off-putting sound of the clicks and clunks used in chiropracty (we’ve covered these kind of problems before). There are whirring noises from the equipment being moved accompanied by whistling noises of escaping air which sounds like a dump valve. Perhaps a sound more for car videos than those for ASMR.

All-in-all this one does not belong in the Procrastination Pen playlist.

Physical Examination (ASMR)

An absolutely whopping fifty-one and a half minutes (and some change). This is a physical examination going for the truly methodical.

The comments are variable (aren’t they always). The video quality is of the soft-focused variety (and that is being charitable). The background noise is of the intrusive type, air conditioning most likely. The patient is identified as “Kylie”(probably misspelled) and there is a crucifix on the wall which may give a clue to the location.

The medical professional is “Kristen” (again spelling may well be wrong) and she announces that this is a Head-to-Toe assessment. (We are well used to these by now).

Kristen is not the quietest and certainly not a natural ASMR voice. There are thunks from equipment at intervals but thankfully no conversation from adjacent rooms this time.

Definition:

Snellen chart: used to measure visual acuity

See below

Snellen chart

At regular points in the video there are breaks in the recording, as if this huge video were actually an assemblage of shorter videos. In cases like this, I always prefer to have the shorter videos and for you to be able to play them using the YouTube shuffle function.

The shoulder badge on the medical professional appears to be a stylised cross, so good luck determining which medical establishment it is from.

The medical professional at intervals is consulting something (I assume some kind of checklist) which gives this the feel of a student assessment video.

I do not like ASMR videos that have been assembled from other videos and I don’t think that this is of sufficient quality to make an exception, so I will not be adding this one to the Procrastination Pen playlist.

Physical Examination (ASMR)

Twenty-six and three-quarter minutes, comments again and by now we know the kind of content they are likely to have without even checking them.

This begins in a much more thorough fashion in that we have names and location. Monica Barbara a student at the University of South Florida. As we would expect the university has its own YouTube channel dedicated to promotion, there are 655 videos and 11.1K subscribers. There are ten playlists but no obvious candidates for ASMR material.

Of course, “Monica” and indeed “Barbara” might be misheard and misspelled.

The patient is introduced as “Alisha” (again spelling might be off there). The visual quality is of the type as if someone smeared Vaseline all over the lens. There is, again, the constant hum of background noise (probably air conditioning). In addition, this time though, there is a profound echo, as if it is being filmed in a large corridor. I notice that Alisha seems to be perched on a table with a cloth over it so hardly the bespoke medical centre. However, it does not have a feel of the domestic environments we have often seen in student assessment videos.

That echo though does prove to be somewhat distracting. I think Monica would have to be using a profoundly minimal whisper to escape its effects.

In fact, Monica does not have a natural ASMR voice so we have a sound that verges towards the boomy. (Think Bonnie Tyler in an echo chamber).

On balance I do not think this belongs in the Procrastination Pen playlist.

Neurological Physical Examination (ASMR)

This one is just under thirty-one minutes. The comments reference some ASMR “In” comments that you will be familiar with now if you have followed this blog for any period of time. I swear some people comment because they can, rather than to say anything meaningful less helpful.

This is filmed against a dark blue curtain as if it was set up purely for filming. The quality of both video and of sound isn’t that great, to be honest. It is about the same as home taping in 1985.

It kicks off with a mental test and it isn’t that quiet. Rather the “patient” is quite quiet but the medical professional has quite a deep voice which he is using to full effect. The patient is Milena Pavlova (almost certainly misspelled) and it was filmed on 25/07/2000, (UK Format so therefore in July). Goodness knows what it was filmed on as I would imagine that the quality produced by equipment was somewhat more advanced than this by then.

The location sounds like something-haven hospital, possibly Shoalhaven, although that hospital is in Australia and neither participant sounds spectacularly Australian.

Given that Milena feels it necessary to tell us that Bulgaria is in South Eastern Europe, one imagines that this was not actually filmed in Europe where a large number of people would already know where the country is.

I notice that a copy of the New York Times is used as an illustration of a newspaper to be used with patients. This indicates that the something-haven hospital is located in New York. The only one I can find is Yale New Haven hospital. Assuming this is correct, they have a YouTube channel with 124 videos, 1.51K subscribers and 16 playlists. No obvious ASMR content though.

It comes to a conclusion rather abruptly which leads me to suspect that there is another longer version out there. I’ll add it to the Procrastination Pen playlist in lieu of finding the full version.

Physical Examination (ASMR)

This is just over thirty-nine minutes and the comments associated with it are somewhat disheartening. It has a healthy amount of background noise and seems to have been videod in a classroom setting – this usually means lots of extraneous noise. The person teaching has a good voice but the air conditioning is properly loud in this. The video quality is also no better than others we have covered in this blog post.

Given the subject matter (breast examination) previous experience tells me that I should now be halted and prompted to log on. But not in this case for some reason.   There is nothing on display but that hasn’t stopped previous login prompts.

There is feedback from the class. The people videoing are visible in mirrors in the classroom. People are coughing and shuffling (as is to be expected in a large group). There is laughter and equipment noises and someone keeps clicking the device that is being used for filming (probably fidgeting with their phone).

As is expected, the voices are a little raised as they need to project to the group rather than any individual. This is a shame as it could actually be quite good (well if someone put a bomb in the air conditioning).

This one also concludes rather abruptly but we have found some classroom-based tuition videos do that.

So, it isn’t the greatest, but I think worth putting in the Procrastination Pen playlist to see if it sits well there. It might get weeded out to the archive list in due course.

In summary, I do not share the taste of the owner of ASMR exams (or indeed of some of the commentators to the videos). However, I hope that means that the quality of the Procrastination Pen playlist is being maintained. I’ll revisit the ASMR exams channel again to attempt to capture the last of the videos. Most seem to have been posted about eight years ago so it should be possible to mop them all up.

The ASMR Exams playlist on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:

The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:

I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.

The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:

I can’t be bothered to stop my listening experience to log on, this interrupts the listening experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.

I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.

If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.

Until next time.

Photo by Shona Macrae

Author: Phil Maud

Keen on privacy and IT Security. Interested in things that are broken and rusty. I use blogging to improve my writing.

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