Sleeping with ASMR

For some reason Cranial Nerve Exam has generated a whole heap of videos and not surprisingly a number of these have people commenting that they are great for ASMR symptoms.

Helpfully BrainLine (for that is the YouTube channel where you find today’s video) provides its own playlist for Dr James Kelly (however they call him Dr Jim Kelly on the playlist) which is here:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe2Je5-cHxP3DqeLtIRlhCW4gxmgbsPyV

However I am in no sense stating that these are all good for ASMR.

In addition, this playlist is no less than twenty one videos long (and I think that is stretching your patience a tad much for one blog item). As luck would have it the first two are the ones that concern a medical examination and so I will limit this blog item to just those two.

Today’s video is this one:

Cranial Nerve Test

By the way I had not the least idea who Pat LaFontaine is but he turns out to be a famous former ice hockey player.

Hence (I am sure) why his name appears in the title of this video. To ice hockey fans I apologise for my ignorance. All I can say is that he has a marvellously calm voice. (He might be a resource for ASMR videos in the future – if anybody has found any please get in touch).

Dr James Kelly turns out to be something of a superstar himself, his YouTube playlist bio states that he was “the neurological consultant for the Chicago Bears”. All I can say is that he has a great soothing voice and is very much worth listening to if you need to be chilled before falling asleep.

By the way this video is the one that started the now famous phrase “sandwich breath” which appears to occur very often in the comments of a number of ASMR videos. No I have no idea why either but a number of ASMR fans seem to appreciate the fact that other fans are also aware of it.

The BrainLine channel is huge. There are so many videos I am not going to set about counting them so I will limit myself to medical exams and Dr James Kelly (so I’ll start with that playlist).

Of the twenty-one videos contained in this playlist by far the majority are interviews to gain the benefits of Dr Kelly’s expertise on brain health.

In terms of medical examinations there is only one further video:

Neuropsychology Test

This is equally as great as the first one in my opinion.

Both of these will now go into the playlist.

The Dr James Kelly playlist is here:

The playlist of all items featured so far in this blog is here:

I hope that you find them restful.

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Sleeping With ASMR

I’m continuing the medical examination theme as I think at the moment it is proving to be reasonably fruitful. I wonder if there is some association between those providing care and calming/soothing voices.

Perhaps the medical training engenders not only medical talent but a predisposition to calm and soft-spoken. Long may people continue to train – medically – if that is the case.

Dr. Simmons – Exam

For those who are sleep afflicted. In this case I think we’re looking at an examination for someone (Victor) who has a need for a device to assist with a snoring condition. Snoring is something I only started to display in recent years, sleeplessness being not the only effect of gaining so much in age. Nothing like Victor though, thus far no one is suggesting an appliance.

Dr Simmons has a good voice, very calm and very attentive. The other thing I find with medical professionals like Dr Simmons is that they actually listen to what the other person is saying. This is a rare (and I’m sure much appreciated) skill.

Modus Five is the channel.

I count nineteen videos at today’s date of which only a subset are connected with medical examinations. (The current theme for these ASMR articles – although I’m sure that will change in time).

Seven seem to me medical-examination related so I’ll focus on these:

Victor Mouth Piece

Victor again (hence the title) and now we see the results of the earlier examination. CPAP is referred to here – a device that is used to treat breathing difficulties in sleep. These devices sound unpleasant to use and I’m guessing you use them where the alternatives are even more dire (such as apnoea).

The content is quite technical and the results sound quite worrying, hats off to people who use appliances like this and learn to live with them.

It is a little variable in terms of ASMR content and covers different examinations – I am not convinced this one belongs in the playlist.

Dr Simmons – Oral Appliance Therapy

The start of this video is not at all ASMR-y and the sound quality is not amazing. It stacks up as an advertisement. It is fascinating for someone (me) who attends NHS services to listen to a system where insurance information is very nearly the first question someone asks.

I will not include it in the playlist. I’ve included it here to allow you to evaluate it for yourself.

Sleep Apnoea

Not a medical exam as such, more of an interview which gives the background to Dr Simmons interest in this area. Of course, there is an interest in getting people to address snoring. I can only imagine the amounts of money that must be involved here.

Interesting but not much ASMR effect here – so I’ve not included it in the playlist.

Dr. John Roesler – Performing a Nasal Exam

Dr John Roesler rather than Dr Simmons here. This is quite an interesting interview, presumably especially if you do have sleep issues.

However the medical exam does not occur until a good way into the video (the patient is Dr Simmons). I don’t think this one is a candidate for the playlist.

Dr. Michael Simmons – Taking Dental Impression

This seems to start out quite loud and a bit too enthusiastic for a sleep-aid I think.

For some reason Dr Simmons has lost the soothing voice in this one and so it is not effective for ASMR. I also did not find the mixer noise at the beginning that soothing (other people may differ here). It’s not a candidate for the playlist.

Dr. Michael Simmons – Sleep Disorders

Designed for other professionals who are also providing treatment in the sleep problem area (dentists). It breaks the rules as there is no patient, no medical examination.

(Not that breaking the rules is necessarily a bad thing in terms of membership of the playlist.)

Although Dr Simmons is back on form with calming voice I am not going to include this one.

Overall therefore one video that is helpful in an ASMR fashion and quite a lot of fascinating content about managing sleep issues. That though is not the purpose of this blog (at the moment anyway).

Therefore there is no purpose in creating a playlist for Modus Five.

I will add the one video to the overall playlist for the ASMR videos covered so far.

That playlist is here:

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel @theprocrastinationpensite

(I have found the best way to view this is through YouTube rather than embedded in the blog – for example you get access to the ability to shuffle the order of the videos) (which can be helpful if you listen to the same playlist more than once).

I hope that you find it restful.

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Sleeping with ASMR

The next item in the ASMR sleep series is a little more complicated. Now that I have been following ASMR-related videos for a while it has become obvious that some ASMR publishing people are trying to game the system.

From the number of follows, comments, views, and so-on I am not the only person who is searching for ASMR content. There appears to be a subset of people who are interested in videos where the person produces ASMR effects by mistake. Examples include speeches made where the person has a gentle voice; a lecture where the lecturer’s tone happens to be the correct one to set off ASMR in some of the listeners; interviews where the participants have very calm voices.

Some professional ASMR artists, (and indeed amateur ASMR artists) are now making videos deliberately but claiming they were produced entirely coincidentally. There is obviously a money angle – the more adherents you have – the more advertising-related revenue you can captivate. So the temptation is there, frankly, to cheat.

Some titles will say something like “by a genuine person” (as if there were non-genuine people wandering around). Sometimes there are “medical examination” videos, with a couple of suspiciously attractive young people in the video who don’t appear to know a great deal about medicine.

In this climate I am a little unsure about this series. They are great videos for ASMR which purport to be part of a medical education series.

Patient Examination Series- Dr Hollie Berry

Given I am suspicious I took a look on DuckDuckGo (other search engines exist) and it turns out there is no Dr Hollie Berry other than as part of this video series (or other people discussing this video series). No LinkedIn account, no medical papers, no references or citations – and no college sites linking to the videos.

So far Aidan Blunt appears to be the only source and he (assuming it is a he) is obviously aware that Dr Berry has this affect in some listeners as he has produced some videos edited in order to enhance the ASMR effect.

Here:

Cranial Nerves Examination ASMR Loop

I have a dislike of ASMR loop videos. There will be (say) a medical exam which is about ten minutes and to make it an hour it will play (or parts of it will play) over and again. It might be that I am just dosing when a part I’ve heard before comes winging back. This is one of those. So I will not be adding it to the playlist.

And here:

Cardiac Examination ASMR Edit

This one edited in order to enhance its ASMR effect. Again I won’t add this one to the playlist, however some people reading may find this kind of thing right up their street perhaps.

And here:

Abdominal Examination ASMR Edit

Also edited for its ASMR effect and therefore, as before, not included in the playlist.

And here:

Upper Limb Neuro Examination ASMR Edit

As before.

However Aidan also produces some more dedicated medical videos so for the purposes of this blog item I am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I found this series originally through a posting on Reddit

Which leads to this video:

Cranial Nerve Examination

Which leads me to suspect that the filming was done at Manchester Medical School and the Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust. However I am currently not able to find any similar video content other than that put out by Aidan.

This video has the smell of the genuine article and is a sensible seven and a half minutes in length which seems to fit with a reasonable length medical examination video found elsewhere.

Aidan Blunt – this is the channel where the Hollie Berry videos are all found. There are thirty four videos here and so too many to feature in any one blog item.

However I started with a Hollie Berry video and so I will concentrate on the videos from this channel that feature Hollie Berry.

Apart from the compilation, ASMR edit and ASMR loop videos (all of which I know to be doctored and therefore will discount) there are these:

Abdominal Examination

This is a sensible length at five minutes thirteen seconds.

Cardiovascular Examination

This one is five minutes six seconds.

I think Hollie may have my favourite ASMR voice of the videos I have covered so far.

Diabetic Foot Examination

Three minutes twenty five seconds in length.

A repeating theme in these is that the “patient” appears either petrified or completely distracted. I’m not sure what they could have said to them to get them in this state. Hollie seems the ideal medical person – professional and relaxing. But for the people in these videos it does not appear to be working.

Lymph Gland Examination

Three minutes fourteen seconds in length. And given the comments I’d say a number of people find Hollie’s voice to be relaxing.

Respiratory Examination

Five minutes thirty four seconds in length. The more I listen the more I think this set of videos is a great find ASMR-wise.

Upper Limb Neuro

This last set seem all to have been posted eleven years ago. I think we can assume that Hollie Berry does (or did) exist and probably made a set of videos for the Manchester Medical Schools a decade or so ago. They’ve moved on and taken down her videos subsequently but Aidan has preserved them for some reason.

Why Hollie should disappear altogether at that point is anybody’s guess but a set of six short videos is all we have of the greatest ASMR voice I have so far discovered. A great shame.

The playlist is here:

The complete playlist of videos covered so far is here:

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Sleeping with ASMR

In my opinion the first of these is the best in terms of ASMR-i-ness (if such a term could be said to exist). Yet again a change of direction as we look away from standard medical examinations and move to eye-related exams instead.

The channel comes from the Moran Eye Centre at the University of Utah.

Moran CORE (for such is the channel) provide a number of ophthalmic-related videos, but the best from an ASMR perspective is this one:

The Neuro-ophthalmology Exam: Neuro

The key to this I think is probably the interactions between Judith Warner, ophthalmologist and the “patient” Megan (who turns up in other videos in the series). Megan seems to have the most naturally restful voice here I think.

Moran CORE has so many videos that I gave up counting them and so it is critical to limit the videos that I present here. (Both for my typing fingers and your no doubt tired eyes).

Sadly Moran CORE does not present any helpful playlists that include this particular video so the obvious approach is to filter on videos “starring” the same ophthalmologist or featuring the same “patient” (Megan).

What leaps out scanning the videos is that a number of them feature the same “patient”.

Sticking to videos initially that feature the same “patient” we have this one:

The Orbital Exam

Which is with Tom Oberg instead of Judith Warner. Tom actually has a good voice ASMR-wise but again Megan’s is better. The approach is calm and de-stressing. Both Tom and Judith have been encouraging and patient – the kind of person that you want if someone is going to be examining you.

The Ophthalmic Exam: Retina and Posterior Segment

This is with Andrew Davis, who is technically brilliant I’m sure, but sadly does not have a great voice for ASMR. In this one Megan seems to say very little. So it’s a washout for us sadly and will not be added to the playlist.

The Neuro-ophthalmology Exam: Pupils; Color; Eye Movements; Prism

This is Laura Hanson with the “patient” Megan again. Laura doesn’t have the greatest ASMR voice but Megan here gets more of a speaking role which compensates to an extent.

However as before I do not think this makes the grade for the playlist.

Indirect Ophthalmoscopy with Scleral Depression

This is James Zimmerman with Megan. James’ voice is actually quite good here. But I don’t think it is going to be good enough sadly. This isn’t going to make the grade for the playlist.

How to Instill Topical Anesthetics

Lloyd B Williams with Megan. Lloyd also has a good voice. But again I don’t think this one will graduate to the playlist.

The Neuro-ophthalmology Exam: Eyelids

Laura Hanson again, as far as I can tell the last video featuring Megan and so the last of this blog item. This is slightly better than the earlier Laura video I think. However I still don’t think it is going to make the playlist.

Filtering the videos by the “patient” is an arbitrary method for limiting the videos. However Moran CORE has so many videos and they are so varied that I suspect we will be mining this resource in the future.

The Moran CORE Playlist is here:

The playlist of all videos so far covered in this blog is here:

I hope that you find them restful.

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Sleeping With ASMR

This time have one which appears to be verifiably from a medical school – Warwick Medical School in fact.

I did not find the introductory music particularly restful. It is not the first time I have wished that I could edit videos on YouTube (so that I only get the nice bits). (The music quits at nine seconds – in case you want to forward it).

Dr Gill turns up a lot on YouTube and I have no doubt will crop up again in another blog item. He has a very restful voice (well in the videos, I don’t know him personally you understand.)

Respiratory Examination

Not unexpectedly Warwick Medical School has quite a number of such videos. Not all of which are spectacular from the ASMR point of view (it was not their purpose in life let’s face it).

Roughly one hundred and nineteen videos as at today – too many I think to cover in one blog item (unless you’re reading this in order to get some sleep in which case I’m sure that it would have been ideal. I’m sorry to disappoint.)

Fortunately they have been considerate enough to provide their own playlist for this purpose:

Here:

This is still forty three videos long however – perhaps sufficient for a whole series of blog items (now there’s a thought).

I notice that of the forty three – nineteen are actually on the YouTube channel of Dr James Gill himself rather than that of Warwick Medical School – well that’s convenient.

As Dr James Gill has a good voice and his own channel, I suspect we will be returning to him at a future date and so we can discount the videos on his channel for the current moment.

One of the forty three videos comes up flagged as private so we have forty two less nineteen to look at.

That will make this a very long blog post.

If you just want your ASMR kicks scroll right to the end where you will find the playlist details.

Clinical Examination

This is also part of the cranial nerve exam videos – a subject which appears to be very popular on YouTube amongst ASMR devotees.

Clinical Examination

Dr Gill again – obviously a prolific supplier of YouTube videos. I look forward to exploring his channel in a later blog article. This is also a further video in the cranial nerve series, which is proving as popular as the reflex hammer videos about which entire compilations have been put together. (I am not a great fan of compilation videos unless the source videos just cannot be found.)

Clinical Examination

I’m pretty sure this does not qualify under the current category of medical examination as it is more of an instruction video. Actually it is rather good, so I’ll make an exception and add it to the playlist in any case.

Clinical Skills

Dr Gill again, although it is also an instruction video I’m also well-disposed to it and so it is going into the playlist (also it has the benefit of lacking any additional peppy music).

Clinical Examination

Here we see Aden again (as the patient). He seems to crop up in a few of these.

Clinical Examination

Aden crops up again but here he is the medical student in the doctor role. Actually the video is rather good – perhaps a large number of medical students are naturally softly spoken.

Annotated – Clinical Examination

Dr Gill again in another early video – if you’ve stuck with this you’ll recognise the patient as well.

Clinical Examination of – The Shoulder

And yet more Dr Gill (I said he was prolific).

Hip Clinical Examination

I love the fact that Dr Gill asks the “patient” to show him his umbilicus as if this was a reasonably well known term. I had to look it up – it’s your belly button by the way.

Clinical Skills Tutorial

There is something wrong with the sound on this one – it is significantly quieter than the others here. So I think I will drop this one from the playlist.

Clinical History Example

For me the voices in this one are less relaxing so this too I’ll discount from the playlist.

Warwick Approach to Clinical History Taking

Again, not really an ASMR inducer so this one isn’t on the playlist.

Breast Clinical Examination

Not what you’d expect. The person involved is wearing a plastic pair – which I think means I can include it without causing offence. Let me know if offended and I’ll delete it from the playlist.

Breast Examination Models

These are obviously the same as the plastic pair the person was wearing in the video above. Not desperately marvellous from an ASMR point of view though so I will not include it in the playlist.

The Shoulder

Again this voice isn’t quite right for me, so I won’t include it in the playlist. I include these videos only for completeness as different people react differently.

Spine Clinical Examination

Dr James Gill again, the start music is a bit bright but at least it is brief. Not quite as good as the first one but still worthy of inclusion in the playlist I think.

Hand Clinical Examination

What comes home to me in a lot of these ASMR videos is the huge distance between the date of birth of the participants and my own date of birth. In this case 30 years. Fortunately when I am trying to sleep my brain is unlikely to be alert enough to take in what this means for my age – which must be alike to Methuselah now.

Knee Clinical Examination

Dr Gill again – who is starting to seem a significant ASMR asset, the videos in which he appears are quite consistent in terms of relaxing.

Clinical Examination

Dr Gill this time a clinical examination of the respiratory system. Again with the stimulating initial music – it must be some kind of Warwick Medical School brand.

The whole experience conveys an atmosphere of stillness. I can imagine that being treated by Dr Gill is quite destressing.

Thyroid Clinical Examination

Freakily out of focus at the beginning. However that isn’t going to influence any ASMR symptoms. This one features Abbey again (we saw her in the hand clinical examination earlier). This one is really technical in places, I just let it wash over. Let me know if it bothers you and I’ll delete it from the playlist.

The subject of bruit comes up in several of these videos – an audible swishing sound – usually an abnormal one.

Thyroid Examination Demonstration

Dr Gill and Abbey again, who must be the most reliable volunteer in this set so far. If anything this one appears to be more relaxing than some that have gone before in this blog item.

Abdominal System Examination

Dr Gill, and again it starts with the camera fighting for focus. Here Dr Gill is examining David (who I don’t think we’ve seen before). As before a beautifully calm presentation.

Again I’ve created a playlist of these (the longest of this blog so far) which is here:

I’ve updated the complete playlist to reflect the new videos as well

That is here:

I hope that you find it relaxing

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Victoria Tronina on Unsplash

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Sleeping with ASMR

For some time I was simply going into YouTube and filtering by ASMR, searching and finding thousands of videos. This method led me to find squishing sounds, clicking, scratching noises, even purring cats (actually the purring cats are rather good).

However as I stated in the first blog item on ASMR I find it works best when it is someone that is talking quietly and calmly.

Recently therefore I have started to focus on medical exam videos. There appear to be a wealth of these. Several of them feature excited or at least energetic presenters (with a mission, presumably, to motivate their viewers). However as I use ASMR as an insomnia cure there isn’t great mileage in continuing with these.

Some are quite obviously designed to educate an up-and-coming population of medical students and start delving into confusing medical terminology. However, occasionally I will come across one that fits the bill quite well. Today’s video is this one:

Focused Shoulder Clinical Examination

It’s a little disconcerting when it loads as in my browser I get just a grey cassette image – I did wonder if I had the incorrect video, however when played there is some preliminary material stating it is “Associate Professor Shane Brun” at the “Clinical Skills Unit, School of Medicine and Dentistry, James Cook University, Australia”.

Having found this video, I thought it would be worthwhile checking out Anthony Bender (for the video occurs in a YouTube channel of that name) and determine if there are any more of the videos in this channel that are also worthy of watching.

I found that there were five videos available the one above and these four:

Focused Knee Clinical Examination

GALS Musculoskeletal Screen

GALS is apparently (gait, arms, legs and spine).

Ottawa Ankle Rules Australian Version

However I did not find this very relaxing ASMR-wise and so I have not added it to the playlist. – I’ve included it in this blog so that you can review it for yourself (ASMR effects seem to be highly individual).

Ottawa Knee Rules Australian Version

I have also not added this to the playlist for the same reason.

I’ve again created a playlist which is here:

There is also a Global playlist which incorporates all the videos covered in the blog so far:

Please feedback if they are effective for you or if you have any further ASMR material which would be worth considering.

Sadly these videos no longer work for me so I am looking for new material, which I will shortly publish here.

I hope that you find them relaxing.

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Sleeping With ASMR

One of the consequences of entering the fifth decade of being alive (which no one seemed to warn me about when I was somewhat younger) is that it is almost impossible to get to sleep. And having got there, to stay in that state for any period of time.

I have tried various hacks for this over the last years, to varying degrees of success, and by chance I happened upon the fact that ASMR works for me.

The little reading I’ve managed to do seems to indicate that only some people are affected.

It also appears that different people have preferences for different sounds.

For me, the most potent trigger is a person speaking quietly and calmly.

Sadly though the effect soon wears off, and over time the same person – with the same speech – stops working.

This means that I am more-or-less constantly looking for new material, which may be of some merit for this blog and for people who react in a similar way.

For some time I have avoided revealing that I find ASMR helpful in that a number of commentators respond to it as if it is akin to some kind of sexual perversion.

However for me it feels more of the kind of attention I would see on a David Attenborough programme in which one monkey is grooming another and both monkeys are more relaxed as a result.

As science progresses it appears that there is more acceptance that relaxing to ASMR is not necessarily a sexual experience.

Hence it is moderately safe to give some recommendations around ASMR that I have found work for me.

I am also getting some playlists together on YouTube for those who do not have the time to look around for ASMR videos.

(Most of the ASMR material I find on YouTube at the moment – although other ASMR resources exist.)

Recently I came across an article for a Welsh stone carver who has been an ASMR discovery after he published some YouTube videos about his stone carving.

There are only three and I found them effective. Three is a suitably short number to start with to see if you feel the same way.

My playlists are here:

https://www.youtube.com/@theprocrastinationpensite

the playlist for Leuan Rees is here:

I will be assembling further ASMR into a complete playlist here:

please feed back if they are effective for you or if you have any further ASMR material which would be worth considering.

Sadly these videos no longer work for me so I am looking for new material, which I will shortly publish here.

I hope that you find them relaxing.

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Turn Again

Sometimes the message is an unwelcome one; I re-encountered an album recently. An album

 which is an old favourite. One of the tracks has an uncomfortable message that I am still not keen to hear.

(If you haven’t heard this album by the way then you are missing something; in my view the best album this group have produced).

I was reflecting that blogging (and indeed writing) is unrewarding today as there is no audience. It might be no coincidence that the rise in streaming media has coincided with a decline in the time that people spend with a book. (There is one pot of time, if I spend it on one thing I can’t spend it on something else).

Some people have an engaging writing style, and some people don’t. My experience is that the things I like to write about are not stimulating to the few remaining readers out there.

The popular approach seems to include changing my message to make it one that the potential reader may like to hear. Writing and marketing merging until they become synonymous terms. Is the purpose of writing simply to sell something?

For a long time I have avoided writing the blog. The content seemed to be the sort of stuff only my mother would have read. Given she wasn’t available any longer what would be the point in writing any more. Some of the old articles I wouldn’t write today anyway as my beliefs continue to change.

Missing, for me, are any opinions – any opinions that I cared about. However having spent a while reading the comments on  Twitter and  some of the more inflammatory newspaper web sites I am quite certain that I do not want feedback of that sort about anything I have to say.

However the song tells me “the things I should have said…” Once in a while an article affirms that writing is an act which is enough in itself. Some indicate that perseverance is sufficient even where no one reads it. Sometimes writing for yourself is just as valuable as writing for someone else.

It is also absolutely possible that some people might be reading the material but due to a lack of interaction will be invisible. In the end perhaps just writing, for no good reason, is actually enough.

I can of course mute out the people who disagree with my childish opinions and maybe that is the best thing to do if it allows me to keep going.

Anything that will permit what is left of my imagination to flow.

The song nags: “…dreams lay unrevealed ‘til they were rotten”. (I always imagined it was dreams lie unreleased till they were rotten…).

It is better to do something than avoid doing anything because no one is paying attention.

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Wreck of the Week

My search for a wreck of the week brings up this week the hard cash that underpins a lot of the nostalgia boom we have seen recently:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2560739/Now-thats-fixer-upper-Wrecks-classic-cars-selling-MORE-new-models-prices-rusting-roof.html

“Barn Find” vehicles fetching equal to or more than fully restored vehicles; frenetic bidding over dusty relics; a craze for originality between buyers with infeasibly deep pockets.

This is a world that I can’t even tessellate with. The cars described would have been beyond my reach ten years ago and are beyond my reach today.

However, as we have seen with anything carrying a blue oval, the effects of this are not just confined to the rarefied heights of hedge manager salaries.

It has become (and looks likely to continue for a while to be) very difficult for a person of moderate to modest means to get involved in the classic car hobby.

However I remember a similar time in the 1980s where classic cars started to look a great investment. People bought crumbly wrecks gave them a cheap respray and flogged them for serious money.

Then there was a downturn: several people who bought cars as an “investment” got burned. The upside being that the guy who wanted to tinker in his shed got a look in once again.

We can hope that cars will start to return to sensible in the near future. However, sadly the keys to that E-Type I’ve always dreamed off are likely to remain in someone else’s hands in perpetuity.

“Rust in peace” searches this week bring me to this article https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2092341/stunning-pictures-show-how-nature-has-reclaimed-cars-left-abandoned-across-europe/ featuring the work of Roman Robroek who loves to take pictures of abandoned cars. I took a chance that the name was unusual and believe that I have found the photography site that the article is about:

https://romanrobroek.nl/#transport

It is a fascinating site which causes me to regret the fact that I cannot operate a camera (even if given instructions designed for a five year old).

Some of the pictures are truly beautiful. In the case of the cars I do wonder where they are and if anyone will step up and try to save them.

Even better I have been in touch with Roman and he is happy for me to use some of his pictures in my blog. So I am very happy about that and grateful thanks to Roman. (The featured image in the blog this week is one of his).

This week’s YouTube video is a light hearted effort from Pathé set in Reading.

This shows a very different attitude in 1963 to today – cars having no value at all when they got to a certain age. As a result cars were dumped – quite literally anywhere that a person could find to dump them.

The announcer refers to the introduction of testing, which leads me to suspect that the MOT is not as venerable as I once thought.

It appears the MOT was introduced in 1960 so just 3 years prior to the film. A very large number of vehicles initially failed and so the requirements for testing were enhanced. (Presumably this was because the roads had many unsafe vehicles on them).

Initially cars older than 10 years were tested (many failed). In 1961 this became 7 years, in 1967 it became 3 years. Since then the requirements for the age of vehicles haven’t changed but the items being tested have increased with time.

The film takes a comedic approach which includes a very strange episode at the end involving explosives. This is more akin to something you might have seen a circus clown performing.

Many of the cars in the film would be very desirable today so it is sad to see that they were just discarded.

However the vehicles would have been merely 10 or so years old at that stage and 10 year old vehicles today have limited value. Little has changed.

I checked the example of LJ2393 (the smoking vehicle in the latter part of the film). It is not on the DVLA database. So it did not survive. No wonder that vehicles of this age are valued – precious few seem to have made it this far. The exploding vehicle has registration HH – TR645 which is an odd plate. Being the suspicious type I checked it. It is invalid and so almost certainly the vehicle isn’t a vehicle at all but merely a film prop.

This week I was sent details of some marvellous BBC sound effects which include some early car sounds and car-related sounds. http://bbcsfx.acropolis.org.uk/

This is listed as “Cars: 1.6 GL (Manual) 1982 model Ford Cortina. Exterior, tickover recorded near exhaust”. Which for anyone who is wondering what a car of the 1980s would sound like is pretty close to how I remember.

Ford Cortina 1982 Tickover Download audio

Back to Wreck of the Week proper and another ruster drawn from the nation’s favourite auction site.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/192460868689?ul_noapp=true

This one struck my eye because it is just up the road from me and very close to where my partner is working currently.

I say is, however the listing has been ended because the vehicle is “no longer available” so we have to assume it found a buyer, eager or otherwise.

 

Originally listed at £2,300.00 sadly there is no automotive equivalent of the land registry to determine what it actually made in the end. (Even if there was – the absence of any registration details makes such a search impossible).

We’re treated to 5, yup 5 gleaming pictures of marvelousness to sate our nostalgia demons. The text doesn’t do much more to convey anything:

“1966 FORD MUSTANG

SOLID SHELL

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

THERE IS NO PAPERWORK WITH THIS CAR

I CAN DELIVER FOR £1.50 PER MILE

CAR LOCATED NEAR ROYSTON HERFORDSHIRE

CASH ON COLLECTION

PLEASE NOTE THE ANGLIA AND FAST BACK ARE NOT FOR SALE”

I’ve left the shouty text in place this time to convey the full-on nature of modern auction site listings. If someone was speaking like this I would rather be at the other end of a very long room.

Now Royston is a big place but for those not of the United Kingdom (or maybe those of its further flung elements of this nation) here is the approximate location of said vehicle:

So what are we getting in this “What you see is what you get” auction.

Shame it is not for sale that Anglia looks much more my cup of tea to be honest. I can’t see enough of the vehicle beyond it to make out what it is, but what a marvellous place with all these pieces of automotive history lined up just ripe for the restorer to feast his eyes upon.

In any case from the text we can ascertain that the car for sale is in the foreground, none of those in the background are so hands off sonny.

All we know about it is that it is 1966. There are no registration details and given there is no paperwork it is easily feasible that the car was never registered in the UK – we’ve covered the niceties of the NOVA system before.

However some comments on the impact where you have no documentation at all are here:

http://www.nsra.org.uk/newforum/showthread.php?61208-NEW-IMPORTATION-RULES-NOVA-(Notification-of-Vehicle-Arrivals)

Put it this way I am not certain I would want to wind my way through the various departments to satisfy them that the vehicle has been properly imported and that all relevant taxes have been paid. It is not clear what happens if you don’t satisfy them but an unregistered car is without value (unless you want to limit it to the race track) and unpaid tax can become an expensive problem…

So apart from the soft-porn focusing (we’re kind of used to that now I think ) what have we. No engine, no gearbox, no front wings, no ancilliaries, no suspension, little or no braking system, no front panels. In fact it appears more like the before in a banger race.

As it stands though what can be seen does not look excessively rusty. So it is possible that this could be used to reshell a car that was completely gone bodywise but had most of the parts.

Unlike a previous Wreck of the Week featuring a Mustang this one has a windscreen and so perhaps there is some hope for the interior.

To be fair, if you’ve been following Wreck of the Week for any period of time then you will have seen much rustier prospects but potentially not cars that have less included with them. (Even the windscreen wipers are absent from this one).

What surprises me from the pictures is that you can fit a stonking V8 between those suspension turrets but scale is something that photographs may not convey well.

Ok, the interior is not quite (but almost) a pond. Heavy moss growth indicates that starting on the car now before it gets much worse is probably an astute plan. The algae covered item may well be the front offside wing although there is no sign of the normal use of car-as-shed approach. This means that there doesn’t appear to be the usual smorgasbord of spares that some of these adverts entice us with.

Not a particularly easy view of much of the interior but apart from the previously noted no gearbox problem, there are no carpets, no seats, no dashboard, a steering wheel which is missing some parts.

On the upside it does look relatively intact metalwise – not much call for Joe le welder here. (Those fans of the welding art form can groan now).

I’m unclear why the rear footwell is a storage vessel for odd fastenings – perhaps it had visions of becoming a shed and never got that far.

Perhaps a better focused version of one we’ve seen before. So no clues about the rear, the boot area, the underside (other than what we can glean from the interior shot), the rear wheelarches – other glass in the car and so on and so fifth.

Well that’s it, no more images to enthral us.

So necessarily a brief one this week. You’ll have to go and do some real work now.

Next week lets hope someone who was a true David Bailey. Preferably one with laryngitis of the advertising text as well.

 

If you took this one home please let us know what you did with her, it would be fascinating to discover what kind of future she has..

 

 

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Image source Roman Robroek http://www.romanrobroek.nl

 

Credit to the property website from which the original idea (for Wreck of the Week) came:

http://www.wreckoftheweek.co.uk/

(Whilst that site looks at crumbly ruins this one looks at crumbly panels).

 

Car Ownership Guide

An idea which might appeal to owners of cars out there if you have a car which you are interested in and are knowledgeable about then I am happy to write an article about it and post it on this blog.

The work for you is that (unless you are located very close to me) I will need you to answer a questionnaire (and possibly some follow-on questions) and I will need you to have reasonable ability with a digital camera – the blog is going to need pictures as well.

Although I compiled the following article from an interview in the old fashioned – turn up ask questions – manner. It seems feasible that I could compile a questionnaire from this which I could despatch to whoever was interested.

I am hoping that the idea has appeal and will encourage people to submit cars. If you are reading this blog and you’re aware of someone else who will fit the bill by all means pass along details so that they can profit from it.

A considerable number of years ago, when it was easier to dream, I had in mind that I would like to write for a classic car magazine. At that time one of the magazines was featuring a “Best of the Web” article. I was working in IT and loved old cars and so this suited me well.

For a short while I researched and wrote these articles and fitted it in around the day job.

Sadly there was a change at the magazine and it was determined (probably correctly) that the “Best of the Web” article was as boring as a lengthy parliamentary speech. So it was pulled.

A person less given to dreaming would probably have seen the writing on the wall. I hadn’t yet let go of that writing dream however and so I tried to come up with some ideas of articles that I could do.

I was approaching the very limits of expertise. I had no background in engineering or in journalism but I wasn’t going to let this stop me.

I realised that once in a while a very knowledgeable person drawn from a classic car club would lay out what it was like to own a specific kind of car. Such accounts were no doubt rose-tinted and that suited my somewhat romantically idealised view of ancient machines.

So I set about contacting owners clubs but I was aware that I could not use the cachet of any magazine’s name as strictly speaking I didn’t work for any of them.

Unsurprisingly for a very long time I didn’t get any takers.

Eventually however I had a response from Tom Lucas who was the owner of a Lomax. For those uninitiated to this car it is a vehicle that you could assemble yourself based upon a 2CV.

It turns out that I had been very lucky to find Tom. Not only was he knowledgeable and keen, he was also willing to help someone who quite obviously was no journalist.

I have subsequently discovered that Tom Lucas (surely the same man) published a book called “Lomax the First Ten Years” bookfinder.

The car YSU191 has also been the recipient of prizes.

It is also apparently still taxed and MOTd to this date according to the DVLA.

Tom, if you are reading this, thank-you for your help.

I returned to the magazine in the hope of a new venture but it turned out I was not as good at this writing business as I had hoped. There was certainly no suggestion of the article being used.

As a result I am free to use the article on this blog all these years later and hopefully Tom will get to see it here.

This was the article:

 

Ownership Guide

Engine

This is usually removed from a 2CV, the engine can be taken from an Ami 8, Dyane or from the rarer Ami Super.

Most Lomax are built with a standard 602cc 2CV, Dyane or Ami 8 engine (these are essentially the same being an air-cooled flat twin of 30 BHP).

The older 435cc engine (not found in donor cars after the 1970s) will fit but is rarely used.

Useful power improvements can be obtained by fitting the Ami Super engine (1015cc). This is a flat-four air-cooled engine and requires the 4-speed gearbox from the same car.

Alternatively the later Citroen GS (1299cc) unit is a simple exchange.

The Citroen Visa power plant (652cc) provides a more complex challenge. This 38 BHP motor had electronic ignition requiring sensors on the gearbox bell housing which do not easily fit the 2CV. One method in use is to utilise motorcycle electronic ignition from a BMW on the front of the engine.

Officially any 2CV engine from 1985 will run on unleaded; however engines from the 1960s are currently running on unleaded without detrimental effects.

The exception is the Visa 9 ½:1 compression engine, which requires super-unleaded.

The standard engine is “bullet proof,” even modified engines tend to have a standard bottom-end, as it is very tough.

Valve and seats are very hard and recession tends not to be a problem. Valve clearances are checked then checked again after the first 6000 miles. If no recession is detectable no further checks are necessary.

Oil Changes

It is worthwhile doing regular oil changes at 3000 miles – maintaining this interval gives increased engine life expectancy of 150,000 miles with 300,000 miles a possibility.

10/40 oil is recommended for the 2CV but the Lomax has different requirements due to the absence of the cooling fan from the front of the engine. This means that the engine runs hotter than in the 2CV a 20/50 oil should therefore be used.

Use of synthetic (or semi-synthetic) oil is not required.

The oil filter should be changed at the same time as the oil. This is easily accessible as the bonnet can be removed in one piece. It is therefore considerably easier to access than in the 2CV donor.

Parts are available from ECAS (Eastwood Continental AutoSpares) of Stafford (01785) 282882.

Carburettor

The standard 2CV is fitted with a single carburettor positioned in the middle of the engine over the crankcase (a downdraft Solex).

This requires a long manifold to each cylinder.

Post 1982 2CVs, Dyanes and Amis were fitted with a twin choke version – this yields 2-3 BHP extra.

A common modification is to fit 2 motorbike carbs on short manifolds (for example the flat slide Dellortos from a Moto Guzzi). This modification yields significant performance advantages.

Ignition

There is no standard distributor; instead there is a points box rather like that on a motorcycle engine.

This has a 2-lobe cam producing a spark to both cylinders at every engine revolution via a double-ended coil.

The cylinder that is on the compression stroke is able to use the spark to fire. The cylinder on the exhaust stroke gets a ‘wasted spark’.

Modifications include electronic ignition kits from Lumenition – this replaces the points and box lid with a sensor (£115). An alternative “123” Dutch-made kit is available through ECAS. This replaces the point’s box and the advance/retard mechanism (£112).

Gearbox

All gearboxes fitted since the start of production are the same in that they are all 4 speed.

The internal ratios differ slightly, the Dyane having a slightly higher ratio in top gear.

The gearbox is behind the engine and drive is transmitted via drive shafts incorporating disc or drum brakes.

The low weight of the Lomax and its relatively small frontal area (compared to the 2CV) make the gearing a handicap.

Top gear limits performance to around 80mph, as higher speeds would cause the engine to rev excessively (no taller final-drive ratios are available).

Gearbox rebuilds are very rarely required, as they are very durable. For instance large, quality, bearings were used in the gearbox manufacture. Regular gearbox oil changes at 12,000-mile intervals are recommended to prolong gearbox life. Reconditioned gearboxes are available from ECAS (£220).

Brakes

The brakes are inboard – either drums or discs dependent upon the age of the donor (cars prior to 1982 having drum brakes). Changing pads is easy; changing shoes requires removal of the driveshaft first.

Drum braked cars tend to have a more effective hand brake as the disk-braked cars have separate (small) pads for the handbrake. The lightweight of the Lomax however, means that this handbrake system is still adequate in disk-braked cars.

No flexible brake pipes are employed. The solid brake pipes are coiled to take up any suspension movement. Despite this unusual arrangement no brake pipe fractures take place.

The gearbox from a Citroen GS comes with 11” disc brakes which would seem a useful modification. However, the Lomax is already significantly lighter than the donor car so no changes to the brakes are necessary.

Later Citroens with disc brakes do not use standard brake fluid but LHM mineral oil. The seals on these cars are a different material to those on drum-braked models (which use standard brake fluid). This means that the correct fluid must be used. In addition when replacing the rear-wheel brake cylinder it is critical to select the right one (the LHM version is painted green).

Rust

The body of the Lomax is GRP and hence does not suffer from rust problems; however the chassis is of steel and from the donor car.

Earlier cars had better chassis (those built in the late 1960s) particularly the Ami – these are therefore better donors.

The chassis from an Ami Super is a good choice as it is made from 1.2mm steel. The 2CV chassis is made from 0.8mm steel.

Cars manufactured between 1987 and 1990 tend to be more prone to rust and should be avoided.

Alternatives include a galvanised square section tubular steel chassis produced by The Lomax Motor Company.

Alternatively ECAS sell a galvanised replacement 2CV chassis for £430.

Preservation of the chassis when constructing the car is recommended. To do this, prop the framework against a wall so that it is close to vertical. Pour in Waxoyl from the top and allow it to drain through.

The exhausts rot out regularly due to the small engine and long exhaust, the rear of which remains relatively cool even with prolonged use. This means that acids tend to condense causing deterioration of the back box.

It is common to use a motorcycle silencer on the Lomax, but in this application a stainless one is recommended.

Body

The body is all GRP and the floor is of plywood.

The GRP gelcoat is a popular finish to leave the car in when first assembled.

The colours available include British Racing Green, Pillar-Box Red and Anchusia Blue.

However the finish tends to fade in UV light (i.e. in the sun) dark shades particularly becoming unattractive after a number of years. The car can then be sprayed conventionally to disguise this.

Crazing of the GRP can occur at stress points over extended periods of time. Replacement panels are available or if the body tub is affected it is cheaper to grind away the gelcoat and fill with fibreglass resin.

Suspension

Most Lomax cars are assembled using the 3-wheeler format– this entails removal of one of the rear suspension arms. The remaining arm is modified at the Lomax factory allowing it to be turned through 1800 to be inboard of the rear chassis arm (which is removed).

The suspension is totally derived from the 2CV with horizontal canisters containing the road springs.

The kingpins tend to wear if they are not greased at 500-mile intervals. To replace these, the driveshafts have to be removed and the bushes replaced with a press or a sledgehammer and a drift can be employed for similar results. After 2 or 3 sets of kingpins have been fitted the arm is too worn to accept another set and must be replaced (£95).

The suspension arms turn on taper-roller bearings which can show signs of wear at 100,000 miles (£24.50 each – 2 of per unit) – they are sealed for life so once fitted need no maintenance.

Genuine Citroen telescopic shock absorbers are required (£65) as they are designed to work on their side – conventional shock absorbers would wear out very swiftly if employed.

The Lomax suspension is lowered when compared with the donor 2CV. The suspension arms have tie rods, which are threaded. Releasing these rods a few threads lowers the suspension. This increases the kingpin castor angle improving the self-centring of the steering with a slight increase in kingpin wear as a penalty.

The lowered suspension can “bottom-out” and so modifications have been developed to use both suspension canisters.

Lomax has chosen to use a “rear anti-roll bar.” An alternative is to use the arrangement originally designed for a competing kit car (the Falcon). A front anti-roll bar on the three-wheeler is a requirement to prevent the car banking hard into corners.

The anti-roll bar from a Citroen Ami 8 or Ami Super can be used to make cornering safer (these are now scarce). The Lomax Motor Company now manufactures its own version. Alternatives are available from other kit-car manufacturers e.g. Black Jack in Helston.

Performance Improvements

The air filter is a bulky item which can be improved with a low restriction type, such as that manufactured by K&N.

Removing the front cooling fan and ducting is good for 2 BHP.

Carburettor improvements include use of the later twin-choke version (2-3 BHP over the standard item) or use of twin motorcycle carbs.

Performance cams are now available due to the popularity of 2CV racing.

Modifications include boring out a standard 2CV engine to fit a Citroen Visa piston – this raises capacity to 650cc whilst retaining the same stroke as the 602cc. The downside is that the cylinder side wall is made very thin by this modification and the engine can seize whilst running in.

Swapping the 602cc engine for the 650cc engine from the Citroen Visa is workable (the camshaft in the Visa engine is “hotter” than standard) but this is not an easy modification.

Driving

3 wheeled driving is a very different experience. The car has a sports car stance being close to the ground and alighting requires climbing down into the seats.

The suspension retains the donor’s ability to soak up potholes – only finding difficulty with the taller “sleeping policemen”. If the rear wheel hits a diesel patch or wet manhole cover then the rear can step out, but will swiftly regain traction.

The insurance is very low due to the small engine size.

There is lots of capacity in the boot for shopping or even continental touring.

The car is relatively safe in accidents due to built-in weak points in the Citroen chassis– a built in “crumple-zone”. These fold in the event of accident protecting the cockpit from serious damage.

The performance is better than the 2CV donor with good acceleration and 80mph normal. It will cruise at 70mph easily.

It is equally manoeuvrable handling twisty back roads faster than a number of conventional vehicles.

The controls are conventional apart from the gear change pattern where 1st is opposite reverse. The handbrake is an umbrella version (from 2CV donor) although some builders have opted for a more conventional handbrake layout.

 

 

With thanks to Tom Lucas for advice and information. Tom is the author of “Lomax the First Ten Years” (£10 from most bookstores).

 

 

 

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