Health – Page 11 – The Procrastination Pen

Sleeping With ASMR

Continuing the mission to identify videos with possible ASMR effects (or at the very least ones that can lull you off to sleep) I have come across today’s video.

This one is acronym city – I doubt you’ll need to understand much of them to enjoy the video. However, if, like me, you find it annoying that you do not understand what things mean, here are a few of those that came up:

OSPE – office of standardised patient education

UAB the University of Alabama at Birmingham

HEENT Head Eyes Ears Nose and Throat

(Knees and toes, knees and toes)

Ahem, so with the preliminaries out of the way, let’s progress to the video and what it does for ASMR.

This is todays’ video:

The HEENT Physical Examination

Mark has an excellent voice, if a little nervous in this one. In fact, at intervals, he seems to be looking to the student for reassurance.

The channel (unsurprisingly) is Mark Pepin, MD, PhD (The photo on the channel indicates that this video was recorded some time ago – he’s older on the photo than he is in the video). In fact, the video was posted in February 2018.

The channel has fifteen videos in total and only some of these are to do with medical exams. This is probably a number of videos that might prove tedious to read about in a single blog post (attention spans being what they are at the current time).

There are seven playlists and to be honest, different ones appear appealing from our perspective. (This is another channel to return to I suspect). However, the playlist Clinical Physical Examinations

includes the one selected. There are ten videos in this playlist which does not seem excessive to cover here. (If you’re bored already scroll to the end of this blog post where you will find the relevant playlists).

The Cardiovascular Examination

Mark with Erin again, this time Erin is a clinical skills trainer. Mark is still good in this video, whilst Erin again doesn’t get to say anything.

It is going in the Procrastination Pen playlist.

The Pulmonary Physical Examination

I notice that Erin has an escalating involvement in these films – now she is helping with filming and editing. Heather Hallman PA and Shawn Galin MD are presenting in this one.

If anything, Heather Hallman has a better voice than Mark Pepin. Slightly energetic in places perhaps (for the purpose of getting off to sleep) but excellent for relaxation. There appears to be a background click playing in the video which is initially a bit distracting but is significantly better than some of the air conditioning noises we’ve had previously. Shawn’s voice is not the greatest fit for ASMR but he doesn’t get to say a lot here (thankfully for us).

This one is going in the Procrastination Pen playlist.

The HEENT Physical Examination

This is where we came in of course. Made at the University of Alabama at Birmingham they have a channel with a very large number of videos, thirty-three playlists – at least one of which is seventy-four videos long. This may be worthy of exploration in a future article.

At intervals the video is really deeply restful. As before it is Procrastination Pen playlist bound.

The Neurologic Physical Examination

Dr. Victor Sung and Erin returns. Sadly, Dr Sung is not so great in ASMR terms. I’m sure it’s a very instructive video but that isn’t why we are here.

It is also the longest one we have encountered so far, in excess of fifty-nine minutes.

If you persist with it, Dr Sung has a much gentler voice at intervals. So, the default voice must be Dr Sung in instruction mode. I’m not sure how I would subdivide the video to isolate only those moments. What we’re looking for is an exam video for Dr Sung which would also be a lot shorter.

This video is not going to make the Procrastination Pen playlist.

The GI/Abdominal Physical Examination

Erin again but with M. Tosi Gilford this time.

M. Tosi Gilford is not as good as Heather Hallman in terms of voice. However, the video isn’t loud or shouty. It is definitely an instruction video rather than a true examination and that is probably why the tone is different.

Once the actual examination proper commences it is a lot better. On balance I’ll include this in the Procrastination Pen playlist – although it might suffer archiving in a future weeding process.

Gastrointestinal H&P (Part 1/3): Taking the History

This feels a bit odd here and in fact is from another playlist in the Mark Pepin Channel i.e. this one:

This is Mark Pepin with Corey Duke. It’s got some kind of overlay happening in that the side of Mark Pepin is cut off entirely by the scenery in places. However, hopefully you will have your head on the pillow and you will not notice this.

It is remarkably calm given the subject matter (Corey in particular has a very good voice). Unfortunately, Corey does not seem to have his own YouTube channel because that would be one worthy of further exploration.

It’s shorter than the ones so far at seven minutes fourteen seconds.

The concluding sounds though are not at all restful.

Gastrointestinal H&P (Part 2/3) – Physical Examination

Introductory noises are rather familiar from other medical videos we have so far seen. But thankfully that is soon over. Then it gets very gentle, which is pretty well ideal for us. At four minutes thirty-three seconds it is regrettably brief (not that atypical) but is a very good Procrastination Pen playlist candidate.

Again, it concludes with a loud noise which it would be great to do without.

Gastrointestinal H&P (Part 3/3) – Presenting the Patient

This is more of a presentation. It is not loud though and there are no objectional background noises.

Until the end – when it gets all funky. I’ll put it in the Procrastination Pen playlist for now, but it might become a fatality at a future playlist review.

The Musculoskeletal Physical Examination: Part 1 – Upper Extremity

Mark returns with Erin Dorman again. We are back on form as for the first video of this article.

It is eighteen minutes thirty-four seconds long and so it is a more thorough exam. The background noise (air conditioning again) is none too intrusive.

This is very calm; not loud, and seems a good fit for the Procrastination Pen playlist.

The Musculoskeletal MSK Physical Examination: Part 2 Lower Extremity

This is a follow on from the previous video but this time with Mark and Erin standing.

As in the previous video the tone is great in this one.

There’s rather a lot of information in these. Usually when I am awake enough to take in the video content I learn something. In this case I felt a bit swamped. If you’re like me and the purpose is to use it to get to sleep, the approach seems to let all the technical terms wash over you. However, perhaps after a number of plays you may even learn something.

At just over nine minutes police sirens start, that is a shame but I still think I’ll keep this in the Procrastination Pen playlist – at least for now.

I notice that the list is flagged as last being updated four years ago, this seems a shame for our purposes as more contributions from Mark would definitely be appreciated. The Mark Pepin Playlist is here:

The playlist of all videos reviewed on the blog so far is here:

The archive playlist (of videos previously in the above list but which eventually were found to be less great than hoped – retained in case you still find them useful) – is here:

I hope that you find the videos restful.

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Sleeping With ASMR

I am continuing on the theme of identifying videos which might be useful for ASMR and/or producing calming effects to aid in sleep. Focusing primarily on the videos created for an entirely different purpose (of late for education purposes but that is likely to change). Regular readers will understand that a huge part of the point is to produce a playlist which you can play on your phone or tablet whilst trying to get to sleep. Those of you who are new, welcome. The playlist is getting to a reasonable length now and so if you choose the shuffle function on YouTube you should get several hours of listening. I apologise in advance for any blaring YouTube adverts that may interrupt this endeavour. I don’t think that any YouTube employees are reading my blog at the present time or they’d tone it down a bit (well one can hope).

Back to the world of eye exams today. The channel is CHECT UK, it has thirty-one videos so not a huge channel. This video however does not feature in any of the five available playlists. Reviewing the channel’s content available it looks like this is the solitary video which is going to be useful to us in terms of ASMR. Sadly, it looks like today I’m going to be limiting myself to just one video. On the bright side however, this will be a brief blog post which should enable you to rush back to whatever it was you were doing before reading this.

Ophthalmoscopy Video

The notes state it is an “Educational video shared courtesy of Moorfields Eye Hospital”. So it is not a pure exam video as such.

Moorfields eye hospital has its own channel with one hundred and twenty three videos as at today’s date, so this might be something worth exploring in a future blog post.

The people credited in the video are Miss Narcis Okhravi (Consultant in charge of undergraduate education), Miss Rahila Zakir, Miss Andrea Arinelli (Moorfields undergraduate teaching fellows). The crest used is that of Moorfields eye hospital (unsurprisingly). Video and animation is credited to Alan Lacey of W3 media. Production and lighting was Mike Hill of Mike Hill Productions. It was filmed in April 2009 – at last a video with a decent amount of information.

The narration in today’s video is very good in terms of being measured and calm (despite the fact that there is more than one narrator). The female narrator is quieter and so edges the male narrator out in terms of sleepiness inducing effects.

It isn’t designed for this purpose of course – it is designed to instruct someone who intends to take an eye exam and so we are nefarious observers on a video designed for somebody with a different intent.

At nine minutes thirty-two seconds it is not a huge length of video. There is (as usual) a continuous background noise (most likely air conditioning).

There is just one video so I have not created a playlist for CHECT UK.

However, the playlist of all videos covered in the blog so far is here:

I hope you find these videos restful.

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Sleeping With ASMR

One of the aspects of being in the fifth decade is that memory is not what it was. The title meant absolutely nothing to me. Then I discovered that I had encountered it before in this blog, not only that, but I’d defined it as well.

For people, like me who had forgotten ROM and MMT , MMT is manual muscle testing ROM is range of motion. Both of these appear to be occupational therapy terms and look likely to be the subject of future searches for ASMR videos.

The associated text tells us “Jordan Butler: ROM & MMT (gravity resisted & eliminated) upper extremities.”. Given the channel is called Michelle Hanigan I am assuming that Jordan Butler is the “patient” in this one.

The Michelle Hanigan channel has no playlists but that should not be a problem for us on this occasion as there are only two videos in it, the featured one is this:

ROM & MMT

As the video opens it’s pretty obvious this is not a typical work environment – sofa – immense TV – modern looking occasional table – almost certainly domestic. I’m assuming that this is some kind of video put together by a student of occupational therapy. It does not have the appearance of one of those videos discussed previously which is professionally composed in order to mimic a medical examination.

The sound quality isn’t fantastic. Although Michelle has a good voice it’s a bit muted in this recording, probably resulting from use of a remote rather than a lapel mic.

Michelle seems to be consulting notes off camera on a few occasions which I think reinforces the view that this is part of a learning experience. In addition, at intervals they both seem to be trying not to laugh. The person holding the “camera” makes the odd noise occasionally – I think that confirms the video isn’t a professional effort. Also at the end the dog makes an appearance.

Despite the sound limitations I think this is a good one ASMR-wise and worthy of inclusion in the playlist.

The second video is this one:

Movement Video

To be honest this seems to be a shorter version of the previous video (this one is ten minutes twenty six seconds the previous one is fourteen minutes twelve seconds)

On that basis there is no point in including this one in the playlist as well.

As there is only one video on this occasion, I will not create a Michelle Hanigan playlist. However, the ROM & MMT video I will add to the overall list of ASMR videos covered so far in this blog, which is here:

I hope that you’re still finding them restful.

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Sleeping With ASMR

I came to this one largely because everyone else seemed to be saying this was great for ASMR. (See some of the comments beneath this video). I have to say it’s a bit marginal for me and I am considering discounting it from the playlist.

However, given how much feedback there seems to be, I am sharing it with you as it is probable you will get some positive effect from it. Carol Joy features as the person giving treatment and we are told that she is an “Integrative Medicine nurse”. I’m not really abreast of nursing specialities however a brief search indicates it to be “A state of well-being in mind, body and spirit that reflects the individual, community and population.”

Acupressure for Family and Friends

As I say Carol’s voice is not quite right for me but a number of people find this video helpful. In this Carol refers to SEVA – an act of selfless service.

UMMCVideos is the channel. This turns out to be the University of Maryland Medical Center – the downside for a brief blog item is that there are really a very large number of videos in here. There are also no less than seventy four playlists as at today’s date. It looks like we need to focus in a different way, in this case I think focusing on Carol Joy is an approach.

A basic YouTube Search indicates a channel sruthy sek which has a Carol Joy playlist

however this contains two hundred and twenty five videos – hardly helpful in narrowing down the videos.

ASMR Loopz has prepared a loop video

ASMR Loop: Acupressure – Unintentional ASMR – 1 Hour

It’s an hour long – and I really do not like loop videos.

However, there are two further Carol Joy videos

Acupressure for Yourself

The comments really exalt Carol’s ability to be properly relaxing. But for some reason her voice does not do this for me. I have no idea why. The ingredients are there – it’s quiet, there is no background noise, I would imagine I should be off to sleep. In fact, I find myself looking for the next video.

I’m sure a great many people reading this will have a more positive reaction and this is why I am featuring it.

Guided Meditation – A Step by Step Video

Again, the comments are very positive. The sort of comments some of the videos I have featured so far I felt deserved rather than the nastiness that they actually got. However, it just doesn’t work for me.

On that basis I have created a Carol Joy playlist, which is here:

But I won’t be updating the overall Procrastination Pen playlist

However, the Archive playlist (created of videos that I featured in the blog but on review felt were not quite good enough to make the grade) now contains these three videos.

I hope that you find the playlists relaxing.

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Sleeping With ASMR

This time the video is more of an instruction manual. Merck Manuals is the channel which gives you a clue.

This is a comprehensive channel with a large number of videos which I am not going to attempt to count. It is about two hundred and ten as at today’s date.

That leaves a dilemma as to which set of videos to choose. Fortunately Merck Manuals also provide a set of playlists (twenty two of these as at today’s date) and ours occurs in a playlist called The Ortho Exam – Merck Manual Professional Version.

This channel has so much material I suspect we will be back here before I am very much older.

Today’s video is this one:

How to Examine the Hand | Merck Manual Professional Version

The Ortho Exam – Merck Manual Professional Version

Which helpfully tells us “Examination demonstrated by Paul Liebert, MD, Tomah Memorial Hospital.”

The funky intro music is not exactly brilliant for ASMR however the narrator has a great voice for this purpose. It is nicely relaxing in fact.

This one belongs in the Procrastination Pen playlist.

There are ten videos in the Ortho Exam – Merck Manual Professional Version playlist. This number is a bit large for a blog post (well history tells me anyway). If you can’t wait for the playlist, scroll right to the end where it will be waiting for you. The above is video four in this playlist, leaving nine videos.

How to Examine the Shoulder | Merck Manual Professional Version

The great thing with these videos is that they are consistent, demonstrated by the same person, narrated by the same person and consistently calm and quiet. They are more-or-less ideal for our purposes.

Note that erythema comes up in this video which is a redness of the skin.

This is also going to find a home in the playlist.

How to Examine the Elbow | Merck Manual Professional Version

Epicondyle is a bit more complex – here it is referring to the rounded part of the bone on the elbow.

Definitely a playlist candidate.

How to Examine the Wrist | Merck Manual Professional Version

There is a growing amount of medical terminology the more we go on with these videos. Those with more of an interest than simply a sleep aid may find this helpful:

How to Examine the Hand | Merck Manual Professional Version

This is where we came in. By now we can see that not only do we have the same intro music, same examiner and same narrator to a large extent we also have the same “patient”. I like consistency when I’m aiming for a restful experience – your mileage may vary.

How to Examine the Hip | Merck Manual Professional Version

This one seems to be considerably quieter which might be distracting, especially if you have the volume right down in order to aid sleep. On balance I think it still deserves inclusion in the playlist though.

How to Examine the Knee | Merck Manual Professional Version

What strikes me with this one is the complexity of the system. The number of nerves, ligaments, muscles and tendons needed just to get normal motion is quite amazing and something I hadn’t considered before. Probably not wise to be thinking that as you’re trying to doze off. This will also be in the playlist.

How to Examine the Ankle | Merck Manual Professional Version

The close-up shots and the distant shots here seem to be of two different patients. The close-up ones I would guess are of a male patient. (In at least some of the shots in any case). However, if you’re half asleep I suspect you will not notice.

I’m also going to add this to the playlist.

How to Examine the Foot | Merck Manual Professional Version

Our male foot patient is back initially, we go to the female patient subsequently. The only downside of such videos (if you’re awake enough to notice) is that you can start to consider if you have any of the problems described. Who doesn’t have uneven wear in their footwear for instance?

This is also going in the playlist.

How to Examine the Neck | Merck Manual Professional Version

This refers to other manuals videos. Given how consistent this set is I think this is an invitation we can’t help but take up at some future date in any case. Another one for the playlist then.

How to Examine the Back | Merck Manual Professional Version

The most consistent set of videos so far in this blog series. All of them I think deserve to be in the playlist.

The Merck Manuals playlist is here:

The overall playlist for items featured in this blog is here:

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Sleeping With ASMR

This channel was recommended in some comments to another ASMR video. This may or may not work out for the best. I search all over the place for inspiration. It is not until I have had a chance to listen to any of the videos that I understand whether the recommendation produces a complete loss (In terms of The Procrastination Pen playlist). This sort of thing happens all the time. On that note feel free to recommend to me any ASMR videos that you have found helpful. It might be that they will turn up in a future blog article.

The channel this time is sebsss it contains four videos so a nice number for one blog post. The fourth video seems to be a drinking video so not really on message for a medical examination focus. Perhaps it will feature in the future if I ever move onto drinking ASMR. The videos range from twelve to ten years ago in terms of posting. The drinking video is twelve years ago and seems a nostalgic portrayal probably only of interest to those who were there.

This leaves three all of which are more recent than the drinking video. These three maybe more suitable for a blog of this type:

Tobradex Patient Teaching

This is the most recent video which was posted ten years ago. However, the sound quality is not great. The speaking is a bit fast. Rapport does not seem to be there. There is really nothing calming or relaxing about this particular presentation. If anything, I was just waiting for it to be over.

Not in the least ASMR stimulating so this one will not be in the playlist

Head to Toe

This video was posted eleven years ago. There are no notes with this one, however the medical professional from the above video appears as the “patient” in this one. Here he appears as “Tom Smith” – whether genuinely or not (Smith being a common obfuscation name). The presentation is a little busy – we’ve seen this before and it seems to be a characteristic of assessment videos – i.e. those produced by students as part of their course.

I think the medical professional introduces himself as “Matt” (something) and that he will be the “Senior” but it is all a bit jumbled and I may well be wrong.

There appear to be no clues as to the location other than the crucifix on the wall and I guarantee searching for “Tom Smith” isn’t going to get me any further.

Given Tom Smith is in a number of these videos I’d make a guess this is his channel.

The background noise is a bit high on this one. It takes a while to settle down but once the examination is under way it isn’t terrible.

Not Hollie Berry standard but worthy of inclusion in The Procrastination Pen playlist I think.

Head to Toe Assessment

The background noise is as intrusive as the last one. As with the previous video there are some good moments. Tom Smith as the patient again – but a different medical professional this time Melissa. This video is also posted eleven years ago. Again there are no notes to guide as to which establishment this is. Sadly the badge on the shoulder of Melissa is a little too small and out of focus to be useful. The letters seem to be HNMC school of nursing with the nearest establishment I can find as Holy Name Medical Centre. Great I thought – crucifix – holy name. Only their symbol is a dove not a purple cross and the only Melissa I can find there is not this Melissa.

Again I think it belongs in the playlist – but I think an edited version would be even better (particularly if it was feasible to smooth out that background noise).

Overall not as terrible as at first thought, although all of these are now subject to review and I am producing an archive list of items once in the main playlist but upon reflection don’t quite meet the grade.

(This offers regular readers the opportunity to still find their favourites).

The Tom Smith playlist is here:

The overall playlist which contains the majority of videos featured in this blog is here:

The videos which failed the grade on review are now in this archive list here:

I hope that you find these playlists relaxing

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Sleeping With ASMR

The video quality for this one is a tad poor. And perhaps I don’t mean a tad. However it is quite different to what we have had before and it is partly because of its age and its purpose. This one is recorded (to video cassette tape I assume) in 1996 and reflects its time I think.

The sound quality is actually not as bad as in some of the other videos I have already featured on this blog (and no doubt many to come). There is no loud equipment noises in the background for example.

It is designed to inform/educate and as such is calm and unadulterated by extraneous sounds (such as a snazzy backing track for example). It’s recorded at the University of Michigan – Department of Neurology, February 16^th 1996.

The Neurologic Exam part 1

This video is of sufficient quality that it crops up in a number of ASMR video compilations which are the kind of ASMR videos I do not watch anymore. It is too much like a box of sweets in which a good twenty percent of the sweets you do not like. Compilation videos are complicated by the fact that no one seems to be able to get the inter-clip volumes to agree. If you start off at a quiet sleep-friendly volume you can be woken sometime later by an individual with a predisposition to bellow. This is John Wald and Douglas Gelb in a demonstration of how to run a Neurologic Exam but who (presumably inadvertently) have good voices for ASMR. In this I feel that Douglas edges out John slightly. Which is good news because in this video he also does the majority of the talking.

Johnwaldmd is the channel (presumably the John Wald MD in the video footage although somewhat more advanced in years I would suggest). I’m guessing a great many of the people who watch the ASMR video compilations were probably as yet unborn when this video was first recorded.

There are only seven videos in this channel and it is obvious that we will not be looking at many of those; some of them appear to appeal to quite a narrow audience (probably family and friends).

I think we can consign four of these into the metaphorical ASMR bin without further review, leaving the above one and two others. Part two of the above presentation:

The Neurologic Examination part 2

This is the “review” section which effectively is giving instruction on how to perform the neurologic exam. In my view this is not as wonderful from an ASMR perspective so I think it won’t make the grade for the playlist.

There is also this video:

VTS 01 0

This is both silent and only 30 seconds long so it may have been some kind of test…

So one video only this time around folks.

On that basis I have not created a playlist for johnwaldmd.

The overall playlist containing all the videos featured in this blog is here:

I hope that you find it relaxing.

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Sleeping With ASMR

I realise that for people who have not been following (the ASMR theme on) this blog since the beginning might find this to be nonsense. For such people, a bit of background. With each blog article I review a video (mostly videos located on YouTube) for its ability to either produce ASMR symptoms or to be restful enough to aid in sleep. At the end of which the video either gets added to The Procrastination Pen playlist or it does not. The assumption is that ASMR aficionados will just go straight to the playlist and listen, but some of you may like to read the material before doing that.

For an idea of where this all began take a look at the initial ASMR blog post which will give you an idea.

I think we are on more solid ground today as this one is back firmly in the medical exam area.

The channel is Ryann McCarty and sadly for us is not going to be a rich resource of ASMR material. In fact, there is one playlist of music videos entitled Rye and the video that we are featuring today entitled:

Ryann McCarty Student Nurse health assessment performance

So this is all you get today I’m afraid – look at it as an appetiser – keeping you keen to see yet more. (Yes, that didn’t sound that accurate to me either). Posted in 2017 and nothing posted on this channel subsequently. (The music playlist was last updated in 2020). Hopefully Ryann is out there doing more important things with her life. The sleeve badge seems to be for Suny Downstate College of Nursing, only sometime subsequently they’ve had a rebrand.

Ryann announces herself at the beginning so we’re pretty certain this is the Ryann we’re talking about. Initially her voice is a bit loud but once the examination starts it begins to settle down (although I don’t think she will ever be a Hollie Berry).

At intervals, (despite the constant air conditioning sounds in the background) I found myself quite calmed by it.

At one stage the person behind the camera starts laughing which is a little disconcerting. (It is easy to forget that there will always be a third person in each of these one-to-one encounters due to the presence of the camera).

I also liked the comment about cold hands – one feature of using alcohol-based hand sanitiser is that your hands get properly freezing – although in other videos I have featured in the past the medical professional does warn the patient about the incoming iceberg.

The notes state “Week 6 lab- Final health assessment performance”. I’m not sure how the education process works but if Ryann achieved this level of proficiency after merely 6 weeks of education then I am impressed.

In all quite a charming short piece at twenty minutes and fourteen seconds. Worthy of adding to the Procrastination Pen playlist I think.

The overall playlist of all videos featured so far in this blog is here:

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Happy Seed – Worry Seed

I’ve used this technique myself with clients. It is a good creative technique to use with people who worry excessively or are anxious. Sometimes it is good to use techniques other than talking (and listening) in the room. Visual techniques are helpful in that they display to the client where their current thinking style/behaviour is taking them. It also can help them to clearly see changes that they need to make.

Everyone in the world has two seeds. There is a happy seed and a worry seed. You can do what you like with either seed – there is no instruction book. However the way you behave towards these two seeds is not without consequences.

This exercise is to show what happens when you pay attention to one or other seed.

Draw a happy seed and a worry seed at the bottom of a large piece of paper.

The client can pay attention to either seed. They must first nominate one as the happy seed and one as the worry seed. (Draw a label clearly at the base of the paper so that there is no doubt which one is which).

They can pay attention to either seed. Each seed needs feeding and watering so that it can grow.

If the client is prone to worry it is usually easier for them to pay attention to the worry seed. If a worry comes to mind have them draw a shoot from the worry seed. Have them attach a leaf to this shoot labelled with that worry.

At this stage the worry seed is developing into a plant. The happy seed is still just a seed. The client has free rein to add shoots to either seed. Have them add more shoots with whatever comes to mind.

Their predominant thinking style will rise to the surface. Someone who worries draws more worries.

Dependent upon how much the client has to bring up it might be that you will need a very large piece of paper for this. (Plain wallpaper for example is good).

As you watch what the client is doing you can see that they have a tendency to water and feed one particular plant dependent upon their thinking style.

This can continue for as long as you have time designated to this. However a definite pattern will have emerged.

Eventually the client will run out of things to add – or will have added as much as they can within the time you allotted for this activity. There will usually be an asymmetry between the two plants:

At which point you can point out to them that in life there is only one pot of time. They can pay attention to anything that they like but only one thing at a time. If they pay attention to the worry seed – they care for it, water it and it will start to grow.

A first worry leaf develops. With further attention to the worry seed another leaf pops up. If they keep caring for the worry seed in time a tree of worries will fill the page.

Their life will be full of worries and there will be no space left for happy.

They can’t care for the worry seed and at the same time pay attention to the happy seed. With no attention to the happy seed they concentrate all their energy on worry.

The worry tree becomes so huge that it is overwhelming. By comparison the stunted happy tree is undeveloped. In fact the happy tree is completely overshadowed by the worry tree and is not going to grow properly.

Get them then to consider how life would be different if they spent at least some time on the happy seed.

Better still if they watered and cared for the happy seed at the expense of the worry seed. How much different would life be then.

The intention is for them to seek out the parts of their lives that are happy and to minimise the time they spend worrying.

Thanks to my counsellor Rachel http://www.elyhypnotherapy.com/ for suggesting this technique.

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The Apology

I can remember as a child being forced to apologise to people when I hadn’t any feelings of being sorry. In some cases I actually believed the other person was at fault.

I found that apologising has to come from within. Apologising when you do not mean it is empty and encourages feelings of revenge.

Research indicates that refusing to apologise is as beneficial as apologising. Refusing to apologise allows a person to feel more powerful and energised. The worst position is to sit on the fence and do nothing.

Some research shows that people who fail to apologise are happier than people who apologise.

In some circumstances apologising is damaging for the other person. For example if you reject someone with an apology this is more hurtful than plain rejection. The person is feeling both hurt and the need to forgive in the same moment. They need the time to process the hurt before considering forgiveness.

There are some benefits from choosing to apologise however. People prepared to apologise are viewed as more trustworthy. (Even where they apologise for things they cannot be responsible for – such as the weather).

Choosing to apologise may not be without consequences. These can range from embarrassment to admission of guilt. Admission of guilt can lead to other consequences: job loss, imprisonment, court cases and so on.

Every apology has to be considered. If you decide to apologise then at the very least you want your apology to be effective.

A recent counselling article indicates that apologies should contain the following elements:

Acknowledge the offense clearly – for example I did drive your car without your permission.
Explain it effectively – for example I waited until you went to work and took your keys from the dresser.
Restore the offended parties’ dignity – for example – it’s your car and I understand you will be mad that I used it.
Assure them they’re safe from a repeat offense. – I will not take your car again.
Express shame and humility – I feel very bad that I did this to you.
Make appropriate reparation – I will pay you for using the car and for the petrol.

Research indicates that apologies should offer assurances that the behaviour will not reoccur. They should contain sympathy for the victim. (An acceptance of responsibility coupled with a request for forgiveness).

The request for forgiveness may need to be withheld in some cases – when the victim needs time to process feelings and may not feel at all ready to forgive yet.

The timing of the apology is important. Apologising too soon may not have left the victim time to process feelings. Too late and the apology might appear to be insincere.

The key to a great apology lies in 6 key components:

Expression of Regret I’m sorry I ate all the French fries
Explanation of what went wrong I was hungry and ate them all
Acknowledgement of responsibility It was entirely my fault
Declaration of repentance I am really sorry
Offer of repair I will buy you some more French fries
Request for forgiveness. (However this is not applicable in every case – see text) please forgive me

These can be summarised as:

Tell the person how you feel I feel bad about what I have done
Admit the mistake and the impact of the mistake I ate the French fries and you went hungry
Repair the situation I’m going to buy you some more French fries

There are several examples of apologies that did not contain these key components. These have made the situation worse and/or made the victim(s) feel worse than prior to the apology.

A poor apology can lead to a desire for retribution by the victim. This could lead to a worse situation than if no apology had ever been offered.

The best apologies take into account the needs of the victim. This will require humility and empathy.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/02/how-to-apologize/470457/
https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-saying-sorry-73298
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/the-best-way-to-apologise-discovered-science-a6982966.html
https://news.osu.edu/news/2016/04/12/effective-apology/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200207/the-power-apology
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201304/are-you-big-enough-apologize
http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/Brooks%20Dai%20Schweitzer%202013_d2f61dc9-ec1b-485d-a815-2cf25746de50.pdf
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/advantages-of-not-saying-you-are-sorry/
https://blog.frontiersin.org/2017/09/14/frontiers-in-psychology-sorry-apology-social-rejection/
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/people-who-never-apologize-are-probably-happier-than-you-12584567/
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_three_parts_of_an_effective_apology
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/making_peace_through_apology
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_make_an_apology_work