I was recently lying awake, as I often do, watching rubbish TV in the hope it will tempt the sleep fairies out from hiding. I came across something which was a TV programme covering TikTok videos. The concept seemed sufficiently low rent that it was bound to drive any idea of wakefulness screaming for the hills. I discovered that there had been a TikTok video in which there was a person who had decided that a specific individual was the one for her. He was going to have to be working in finance, physically he had to be six foot five inches and he had to have blue eyes.
The idea that selection on such a basis was the concept that would lead to a successful relationship rather appalled. But then I found that the video had been viral, had spawned a music video, a collaboration with a famous musician, and an income of several hundred thousand pounds.
This seemed to indicate a general consensus that selecting a partner for a relationship on the basis of appearance and income was, all in all, a generally good idea.
I then thought of people I found intriguing, those who gave up their lives to save the pangolin for instance. Those who worked hard to make a relationship work with much less obviously appealing material. Those who endured a difficult situation with failing health, failing resources and so on.
I realised that perhaps the reason sleep is not as much a friend is that I have found myself out of step with the zeitgeist. But then I reassured myself that, on the basis of current information, I probably always have been.
If you find that the world seems to be moving along in a direction that you no longer feel a part of, perhaps it may not be a terrible idea to distract yourself with a restful video, a music file, perhaps even a meditation. The Procrastination Pen is here to help with that.
I came across an older podcast recently on the subject of ASMR. It appealed because the artist describes ASMR in the way that I understand it. A pleasurable experience that is non sexual but can assist with sleep. It turns out that this podcast is so old that the website it linked to for the artist is no longer available. Because it was a podcast, I have no idea what Melinda Lauw looks like which I imagine makes the locating of any ASMR by Melinda slightly more exciting. However, I need not have worried because there is an entire YouTube video dedicated to her here:
which helpfully links to the relevant website.
And it would appear that Melinda is now also producing YouTube videos of her own, for example:
ASMR | Face Measurement Exercise (Personal Attention, Math Tools)
I think this week I shall use Whisperlodge ASMR as the professional ASMR artist. Even though this will make the order of this article somewhat out of step with how I have been previously doing things. (Perhaps being out of step is somewhat the message for this week.)
There are nineteen videos here and 4.29K subscribers which is a pretty healthy figure I’m sure you agree. There are four playlists, none of them on an obviously medical theme and indeed the selected video this week is a little peripheral in that respect.
The video is from a professional artist and so of course it has associated notes: “49,339 views 24 May 2020
Hi everyone, I’m finally starting to make videos!! This time, I’m using old school math tools for a little face measurement exercise. While this isn’t perfect, I know I’ll get better with more practice! A few of our Whisperlodge guides will also be contributing their videos here! More to come!
Comments are permitted and, as usual, are the premium level of sycophancy that we typically find associated with professional ASMR artists. Whatever they have it should be bottled. But maybe it secures them a tall blue-eyed partner who works in finance…
The video is fifteen and a half minutes long and hence is properly short for a professional ASMR artist. It starts without music (heaven be praised) and definitely is on the quiet side of whispery. I got the impression that whispery was not the natural volume for this as if it was a little strained but that may just be me.
You may need to roll over and turn up the volume a bit to get much from this at all. For me, it is therefore not the greatest voice I have heard. However at least there are no offensive noises. A lot of ASMR videos (professional or otherwise) could learn a lot from that. Even with the volume turned way up I found it a bit quiet for me (but I do have old ears). Be aware though with the volume up when the inevitable intrusive YouTube advert kicks in, you are very likely to lift vertically off the bed in stunned surprise. Not for the first time I wish I owned the video such that I could amplify it a bit to make it more listenable.
That said, I found it enjoyable. I would return to the channel to take another look only there is precious little material to draw upon. Perhaps the future will bring more. Maybe it will even be on a genuine medical theme, I can hope…
I found the presentation relaxing and really would like to see more. Let us hope that Whisperlodge is reading The Procrastination Pen.
Slightly in reverse order this week, the habitual Calm offering (usually I write about this before the professional ASMR artist). A small subset of people may find this appealing (in that you have to pay for a Calm subscription before you can listen to the full track).
https://www.calm.com/app/player/ZChWn_-1Bl
Daily Jay
Become the Lake
NARRATOR
Jay Shetty
This is about one’s mindset and how to widen perspective. As usual with Jay the content is interesting and challenging, but perhaps this one is not enough by itself to comfortably get you off to sleep.
I’ve discovered a recommendation online for some miracle pillows. Miracle anything is a bit like pixie dust; it would be incredibly useful but seems exhaustingly difficult to find. So it is with some trepidation that I put down the money. The service was excellent but the pillows smell a bit like the inside of a factory at the moment so I haven’t actually laid my head on one. I’m leaving them to acclimatise in a quiet area and they may need a spray of lavender oil before I start using them.
However, I’m not going to feedback on what they are like until they actually start living up to their claims (the leaflets in the packaging state at least fourteen days before judging). Given my partner accuses me of sounding like a hog at the trough when I sleep, it will be interesting to see if it makes any difference.
Meantime the ASMR video search continues apace. Sometimes the videos are very effective in lulling me off to sleep, but sadly, unlike pixie dust, they aren’t universally effective and sometimes there is a night of much tossing and turning and relatively little sleep. (The noise cancelling headphones are a terrific help and I recommend them).
Today’s video is this one:
Alana Haas head to toe- south university
Again, it has come up in my YouTube recommendations so frequently that I am not clear that I haven’t covered it before, but a quick search of the blog does not reveal any trace of it.
It is just less than fourteen minutes and comes to us as part of the gift that keeps on giving – the student assessment video. These are by part manna from heaven and by part noisy, irritating, and a source of many discarded videos.
Initially you will see that the video is in portrait mode and this tends to produce the more “Blair Witch” style of videos – i.e. shaky and with intrusive noises. Possibly because it is frequently a mobile phone that is in use to film it.
The medical professional is Alana Haas i.e. the person in the title and she announces that she is at South University.
South University of course has its own YouTube channel with one hundred and seventy-seven videos on the day I’m looking at it and 2.8K subscribers.
These seem to be (as is typical for such channels) material promoting the University rather than suitable ASMR material.
Back to the video, Alana does not have a typical voice for us and it starts a bit loud. We find that the filming date is 2013, and the “patient” is Jordyn Hutchinson (I’m basing the spelling on the name of the channel). The surname is less than clear and it isn’t the same as the surname in the channel as you’ll see in a short while.
The video gets into its stride and quietens down but this is no Hollie Berry. There are equipment noises but air conditioning noises are not too obtrusive for a video of this type.
The channel is Jordynlee21. I’ll make the assumption that Jordyn met a Mr Lee after college sometime, but it is feasible that the channel goes back to when she was Lee and she is now Hutchinson.
The channel has only four videos yet 3.36K subscribers (which is frankly amazing).
Given how few videos there are it is well worth our time reviewing the other three.
Jordyn Hutchinson head to toe- South university
Here the former “patient” is now the medical professional. The former medical professional is now the “patient”.
It is filmed in the same manner as the previous one and, as before, no notes and no comments. Given the nature of some of the comments that is frankly a relief and, given the number of subscribers, I think we can assume that the ASMR community has set up a tent, a fifty inch plasma screen and a seven speaker surround system around this channel.
This video is twelve and a half minutes so it looks like they are going to be much of a muchness in terms of length (I expect the remaining two to be similar).
There is knocking and a door closing at the beginning which isn’t the most restful. The air conditioning, for some reason, is more intrusive. Jordyn doesn’t have an amazing ASMR voice. Which might be a theme for this set of videos.
There are equipment noises. Some of the conversation sounds designed to fulfil a brief rather than the empathy that perhaps you might expect. It quietens down but still no Vicki Scott.
Callie Donnay head to toe- South university
This is just over fourteen minutes so assumptions about video length seem warranted (they’re all about the same length, well, within a couple minutes). Callie is the medical professional. Straight away Callie seems to have a better voice. The patient is Ashley Brehmer. The air conditioning, though, is building up to full Shakespearian drama. (this is a constant hazard with such videos)
Ashley seems a bit noisy in this one but she isn’t the main player.
There are equipment noises, some of them are really quite loud. Obviously, a video that would profit from some healthy editing, if I was disposed to steal someone else’s video, (which I’m not). Part way through Callie begins to sound a bit tired of proceedings, or nerves are setting in, one way or the other.
Ashley seems quite amused by it all and there is the odd mouthed comment which I cannot make out, probably my elderly hearing equipment.
Head to toe Ashley Brehmer- South University
Again, a reversal of roles Ashley Brehmer the medical professional here and Callie Donnay the “patient”. This is just over twelve and a quarter minutes.
By now we are familiar with the format. Door noises at start – tick, air conditioning ramping up its role – tick – lack of real empathy – tick.
It settles down to become almost muted, barring the inevitable equipment noises of course. There is a sense that at intervals the participants are just going through the motions. Who knows how early or late this is being filmed. However, everyone participating could just be very tired (that or a rather energetic night in the bar the previous night, let’s hope it was the latter for their sake).
I suspect that this video is likely to be the one that more fully stands the test of time in the Procrastination Pen playlist, notably because obtrusive noises are less in this one. (sometimes one clang is enough to wake me from sleep and that condemns the video from that point onwards).
That’s it on this occasion, more next time.
The Jordyn Lee playlist on the Procrastination Pen is here:
The overall playlist of videos covered so far on the Procrastination Pen is here:
The videos weeded out because over time they are just not as good as the others is in this archive list:
I keep this in case subscribers to the Procrastination Pen have personal favourites that they want to hear.
The playlist of videos requiring age verification is here:
I can’t be bothered to stop my listening to log on, this interrupts the experience. You may not mind this in which case this list is for you.
I hope that you find the playlists restful and I hope you get plenty of sleep.
If you liked this blog article, why not follow this blog.
Until next time.
Photo by DeepAI
The Procrastination Pen 