Sleeping With ASMR

Here I’m being completely unfair – I stick with the medical theme for ages and then change tack without warning.

What can I say? This was a YouTube suggestion I watched and I liked. That said it is outside the normal progress of ASMR blog items and so is a bit of a wildcard. I’ve included it because some readers may well like it.

There is also an associated website.

Woodblock Printing Process … in 3-D spatial audio

David has a reasonable ASMR voice not quite Dr James Gill, but still pretty good for ASMR. The video is not subdivided into sections and so it is to be hoped YouTube will not intrude with one of their noisier adverts.

There is a great write up in the notes about what was involved and the aim of the video – this is somewhat more than we have been used to of late – some of the videos reviewed recently having nothing in the way of notes (and sometimes just one sentence).

It is interesting to hear how much of a noise problem there is where David is trying to work. The sort of thing that makes me fear city breaks. That kind of outside noise would be enough to keep me awake for days.

I’m also in admiration that he can get up at 3am and still function. At that hour I would be an incommunicative zombie.

David obviously has a great deal more patience than I have.

After the intro there is no speech, so it’s an unusual one for me as I prefer people talking quietly. Think of this as a treat for people who get ASMR from brushing sounds, paper sounds, scrubbing sounds and so on.

There is a certain magic in watching the image emerge, a privilege I would not normally have as I’d be listening to the video rather than watching it.

As such I think this one is going to need special treatment as it does not really belong in the existing playlist. It’s more an ASMR item blogged for other people rather than myself.

At nearly one and one quarter hours this is a bit of a mammoth and probably stands on it’s own. However I am in the habit now of reviewing the channel on which it is found for any other ASMR-related content.

David Bull is the channel also the name of the person doing the carving.

I make it one hundred and thirty five videos at the current time, which is rather too many for a blog item. Given this is a diversion from the main subject I had better strongly limit this for fear of rebuke and shock-horror loss of reading public.

Sadly I can’t find a playlist (provided by David) that includes this one.

The playlists available include:

I think not to test your patience too much, I’m going to focus on the last one as it contains only four videos (however I fully intend to return to David’s channel in the future).

Creation of the Fox Moon woodblock print

Ukiyoe Heroes (11) : Fox Moon – preparation for carving

This video starts with David again, as we have established, he has quite a good voice. The printer though is not at all good in terms of ASMR.

This, unlike the previous one, is narrated and so is much more in keeping with our normal ASMR video.

Ukiyoe Heroes (12) : Fox Moon – carving the key block

David has a cold so less talking sadly. The carving is fascinating but of course usually I would not be watching it. There is persistent background noise – possibly air conditioning.

There is also a guest appearance from David’s neighbour.

The speed of the carving activity is quite extraordinary.

Ukiyoe Heroes (13) : Fox Moon – carving the colour blocks

This consists of initial impression taking. That is in which the key block is covered with black pigment and a test print taken. This is lovely to watch but for us that isn’t really the point. There is a radio or similar playing in the background at intervals.

This is quite chilled and quiet, much better with the narration – well until the hammering starts anyway.

Ukiyoe Heroes (14) : Fox Moon – proof printing

This is the more fun stage in terms of visuals in that you start to see the images building up. There is some kind of background fan type noise happening. It is again very calm and if it was on theme would probably be top of the pops. However carving wasn’t really what I was trying to achieve.

I think the way to manage this is to create a David Bull playlist and not to add these ones to the overall playlist.

The David Bull playlist is here:

The overall playlist (which this time does not include the items featured in this blog post, but does include those from previous blog posts) is here:

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Photo by Sarah Dorweiler on Unsplash

The Apology

I can remember as a child being forced to apologise to people when I hadn’t any feelings of being sorry. In some cases I actually believed the other person was at fault.

I found that apologising has to come from within. Apologising when you do not mean it is empty and encourages feelings of revenge.

Research indicates that refusing to apologise is as beneficial as apologising. Refusing to apologise allows a person to feel more powerful and energised. The worst position is to sit on the fence and do nothing.

Some research shows that people who fail to apologise are happier than people who apologise.

In some circumstances apologising is damaging for the other person. For example if you reject someone with an apology this is more hurtful than plain rejection. The person is feeling both hurt and the need to forgive in the same moment. They need the time to process the hurt before considering forgiveness.

There are some benefits from choosing to apologise however. People prepared to apologise are viewed as more trustworthy. (Even where they apologise for things they cannot be responsible for – such as the weather).

Choosing to apologise may not be without consequences. These can range from embarrassment to admission of guilt. Admission of guilt can lead to other consequences: job loss, imprisonment, court cases and so on.

Every apology has to be considered. If you decide to apologise then at the very least you want your apology to be effective.

A recent counselling article indicates that apologies should contain the following elements:

  • Acknowledge the offense clearly – for example I did drive your car without your permission.
  • Explain it effectively – for example I waited until you went to work and took your keys from the dresser.
  • Restore the offended parties’ dignity – for example – it’s your car and I understand you will be mad that I used it.
  • Assure them they’re safe from a repeat offense. – I will not take your car again.
  • Express shame and humility – I feel very bad that I did this to you.
  • Make appropriate reparation – I will pay you for using the car and for the petrol.

Research indicates that apologies should offer assurances that the behaviour will not reoccur. They should contain sympathy for the victim. (An acceptance of responsibility coupled with a request for forgiveness).

The request for forgiveness may need to be withheld in some cases – when the victim needs time to process feelings and may not feel at all ready to forgive yet.

The timing of the apology is important. Apologising too soon may not have left the victim time to process feelings. Too late and the apology might appear to be insincere.

The key to a great apology lies in 6 key components:

  1. Expression of Regret I’m sorry I ate all the French fries
  2. Explanation of what went wrong I was hungry and ate them all
  3. Acknowledgement of responsibility It was entirely my fault
  4. Declaration of repentance I am really sorry
  5. Offer of repair I will buy you some more French fries
  6. Request for forgiveness. (However this is not applicable in every case – see text) please forgive me

These can be summarised as:

  • Tell the person how you feel I feel bad about what I have done
  • Admit the mistake and the impact of the mistake I ate the French fries and you went hungry
  • Repair the situation I’m going to buy you some more French fries

There are several examples of apologies that did not contain these key components. These have made the situation worse and/or made the victim(s) feel worse than prior to the apology.

A poor apology can lead to a desire for retribution by the victim. This could lead to a worse situation than if no apology had ever been offered.

The best apologies take into account the needs of the victim. This will require humility and empathy.


https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/02/how-to-apologize/470457/
https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-saying-sorry-73298
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/the-best-way-to-apologise-discovered-science-a6982966.html
https://news.osu.edu/news/2016/04/12/effective-apology/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200207/the-power-apology
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201304/are-you-big-enough-apologize
http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/Brooks%20Dai%20Schweitzer%202013_d2f61dc9-ec1b-485d-a815-2cf25746de50.pdf
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/advantages-of-not-saying-you-are-sorry/
https://blog.frontiersin.org/2017/09/14/frontiers-in-psychology-sorry-apology-social-rejection/
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/people-who-never-apologize-are-probably-happier-than-you-12584567/
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_three_parts_of_an_effective_apology
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/making_peace_through_apology
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_make_an_apology_work